Refinement: A War of Europe

Chapter Thirteen: East: Keeping Sanity

Anya~ East (Russia)                        

 I stand in the small space, hardly able to stand the brightness. The white room was driving me crazy. It seemed to be spinning, yet it was still. I couldn't hear anything. Not even my own breath and words. Suddenly cool mists sprayed me from the thin vents.

A voice spoke to me in a monotone, "Anya. O'-four-eight. Come on out."

Part of the white wall slid from its place and scanned me as I walked out. I was now in a darker and more dreary room. For such a bad part of Europe these people sure did have highly technical things.

"Sit in the chair, please," the voice echoed.

I did as ordered and sat down. The cool metal gave my skin goose bumps along my arms. I squirmed to try and fit comfortably.

"Good. Now, be quiet and I will explain the process," she paused. "Okay. Today we are testing your mental strength. This series of tests will last a while. Nothing that happens will actually hurt you in reality, nor are they real. We will mess with your mind by showing you your fears and worst memories etcetera. All you have to do is keep from screaming or asking it to stop. We expect crying, but the main point is general mental control. We can't have you screaming and breaking down on the battle field can we? The simulation will begin in sixty seconds," the voice said.

Mental. Really? I frowned. That wasn't my strongpoint. "Just focus on not screaming," I told myself.

My body suddenly went limp and my eyelids shut.

---

My eyes flashed open, but I wasn't in the room. I was in a new place. I was home. My heart crumbled. A whole future flashed through my mind. Where everything was perfect. My parents raised me my whole life. My brother never had to leave for Refinement. Lecyna never died. What I wouldn't give...

I closed my eyes and put my hands to my ears. I didn't want to see or hear anything more. I knew the temptation was too strong for me. For a few seconds I was hidden in my own world, but then, though my ears were covered and eyes shut I could hear and see again. Must be part of the tests.

I looked now at my parents holding a little girl. Me. I couldn't see her face, but I knew it couldn't be anyone else. I didn't even realize it, but a tear slid down my cheek. I frantically raced through my mind to make sure I hadn't screamed, even though I knew I hadn't.

The scene changed and I was suddenly laying on my stomach on a cold, dirt floor. I heard ruff voices coming from behind. I started to roll over when a sharp pang went through my body from my lower back. I clenched my teeth together. I brushed my hand over my back until it hit something metal. I grimaced and pulled the knife from my side. I didn't want to scream or even shed a tear. So I carefully sat up and leaned my back against a wall. I looked at my blood stained shirt and ripped the bottom off and pressed it against my wound. I couldn't see where it was, but I could definitely feel it.

My vision was spotted and my head was dizzy. I saw two men walk up to me and I gasped for air as one of them kicked my side.

"What do we do with 'er?", one asked.

"We'll have to kill her. Hand me your gun," said the older man in grey.

I could feel my heart pounding. Kill? I didn't want to die. I stared wide-eyed at the ground and let my tears fall. I wanted to talk my way out, but I knew that it would only encourage my other feelings to release. Again, this was only a simulation. I couldn't actually die.

I heard the gun click and wrapped my arms around my body. I pictured myself alive, happy, and held onto that image. This was just part of the test. I heard the trigger release and all the tension from my clenched mouth released as I collapsed and my mind was obliterated.