Refinement: A War of Europe

Chapter Fourteen: West: Reliving A Day of Horror

Eloise~ West (England)

Seeing Grayson the next day was awkward. I could clearly see that Lieutenant Polly had told him to keep an eye on me (more like follow me wherever I go) because of the crazy maniac traitor planning on killing me.  In my room, he planted a camera staring straight at me, causing my whole night to be terrible. Who wants a guy staring at you while you sleep?
“Eloise. It is time for the Mental section of Inauguration. Come with me.” I heard him say through my door. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, and allowed my door to slide open. Grayson stood straight, staring me right in the eyes.
“You look nice.” He croaked awkwardly. Not knowing how to respond, I nodded and murmur, “Thanks.” He studied my face. “Why don’t you wear make-up like everyone else?” He asked bluntly. Offended I snapped, “Why the sudden interest in trying to be nice to me? Because it isn’t working.” His face grew red with anger and embarrassment. “I meant it to be a compliment. Come on.” He said in frustration. We walked silently to a white room with a metal chair, upon it were straps for my head, arms and legs. “Sit.”  I obeyed, and he began to strap me in.
“Here is how this is going to work. You will enter a dream, a dream completely controlled by us, and your fears equally. We want to see how you react in your most dreaded situation. I am going to push you as hard as I can, until you break, and according to how high your tolerance is, your score will be distributed.” He left the room, obviously very annoyed with me. I started drifting to sleep. “Fear is only a side-effect of bravery.” I told myself as I close my eyes. I slept.
                                                                  ~~~
I awoke to the smell of smoke, and jerked my head up. I was laying on the ground on the cement ground. Heat surrounded me in what seemed like a bubble, and I could feel sweat pouring down my back. A fire. Thick smoke plumes arose from orange flames.
“Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Um, okay. It is just a dream. Eloise is alive, and she is fine. And cold. Very, very cold.” The flames started licking my feet. I put my hand to my mouth, in order to keep myself from screaming.
“Alright. Um, this is cool. I just need to find a way to disconnect my body from reacting  the way my dream self does. Awesome.” The flames started wrapping themselves around my legs. I looked around frantically. In a dream, when you die, you usually go to another dream, or wake up. How can I manipulate my mind into thinking that it is watching a movie, and doesn’t have to react to what the character is reacting to? I looked at the flames, and felt instant pain wrenching through my body, but forced my face to become emotionless. I sat. The flames surround my whole body. Still, my face was emotionless. I breathed normally, and crossed my legs. The pain was gone. I was dead.
                                                                ~~~
A gasped for air, breathing again felt good. Breathing. I shouldn’t stop that. I looked around, obviously anxious as to what I would be terrified in this dream. What I saw, made my heart rejoice. My family. Helen, her husband Grant, Gabriel, my mum, and step-dad all sitting around a dinner table. I walked closer to them, and let a tear slide down my face. I hadn’t realized how much stress I had put on my body. It all began to sink off as I watched my family feast, laugh, and enjoy each other. I smiled, and looked over my shoulder to see my mum stand, with a glass of champaign in her hand.
“I would like to make a toast to our very own Eloise Tyler,” My heart jumped in delight. My family has gathered to honor me! “In utterly failing! She made it through half of Refinement, and FAILED. Should have known with that girl. Gabriel, you are now our only hope of having an honorable child in the family.” I was stunned. I was angry. I was desperate. I was appalled. My family had considered me a failure. Was I dead? Or had I come home expecting a welcome, and was cast out into the streets to live a life of horror and shame? I gasped. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Except, much worse. This is the kind of feeling where your stomach hurts, and your heart thumps, and your face grows hot, and you feel like you will throw up. I put my hand to my mouth, and my other on my stomach. This had to be the worst. I couldn’t go on. Surely this was my last dream. I stifled a sob.
“G- Grayson! Wake me up. I can’t go on.” As if an agreement, my eyes fluttered, and rolled back in my head.
                                                                ~~~
My eyes opened, and instead of the metal chair I had expected to feel under my head, I felt a concrete floor. I looked around, but before I could take in my surroundings I heard a voice that made my heart wrench. A voice that brought back beautiful memories, but at the same time, brought back my very worst fears in one eight-year-old voice. Thaliana.
“Eloise! Eloise! Wait for me!” I saw me. I saw a much happier, younger version of me. I looked at Thaliana as her jet-black hair streamed behind her. She jumped into her- my- arms.
“Come on!” Younger Eloise laughed, “We have to get to school. You have the school talent show, remember?” Thaliana covered her face with her pale hands. Hiding her green eyes.
“I am nervous. Can you help me practice?” I gasped. HOW COULD GRAYSON DO THIS TO ME?! I started to panic. I did not want to relive this day.
“Of course. How does it start- oh yeah!
“‘The children sing, with all their might,’”
“‘They had no fear, that darkest night.’” Thaliana sung with her angelic voice. I began to cry.
“‘For all the East could not waver their hope so true,’” I sat, and began to rock. Mumbling to myself, but the singing became louder.
“‘Not when our love makes all things new.” Younger Eloise was smiling hugely. She was so proud of her little sister. It was as if the dream was forcing me to watch, because whenever I covered my eyes with my hands, I could still see them.
“That is beautiful! But, you are going to have to practice the rest on your own, I have to go to school myself.” Thaliana gave younger Eloise a smile, and hugged her tightly.
“I love you, Elly.” I tried to look away. I could still see.
“I love you too, sweetie. Now do your best! Go on!” Thaliana ran into the school, and younger version of Eloise left. But, I stayed. I stayed. Grayson just HAD to see my reaction to the worst day of my life.
A boom.
The screams.
The fire.
The blood.
The ash.
The silence.
I screamed. I screamed, and cried. I screamed, cried, and pulled my hair. I could still hear her song. I could still see her eyes. I could still smell the ash. This was all I could take. The anger inside of me rekindled itself, and blew up inside of me like a wild fire. All of those children. Did East care? NO. DID THEY THINK TO SPARE THE LIVES OF THE INNOCENT? NO. My eyes started to droop. Grayson had seen me fail. He had seen me have a complete mental break down, but I was okay with that. Because, he knew my motivation now. He knew that I would stop for NOTHING  to kill the people who killed my sister. NOTHING.
                                                                 ~~~
I woke up with a start, with Grayson hovering over me, unstrapping me. He looked at me with a face I hadn’t expected. I had expected a face of pity, or disappointment. Instead, he was awestruck.
“H- how did I do?” I murmured, avoiding eye contact as I sat up.
“HOW DID YOU DO?! El, you aced! It may be the best score anyone has ever scored on this test EVER.”
“What? No. I did terrible. I had a complete mental break down and- HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?” I stood and slapped him across the face as hard as I could. Clearly stunned, he grabbed my wrist.
“I am doing my job. I am sorry that you had to relive the worst day of your life, but you received an AMAZING score!” I looked at him. I received an amazing score.
“How? I mean, I only made it through three dreams.”
“Those dreams took you two hours. Most people only last about an hour. You were living your worst fears for two hours, and I barely got a tear out of you!” I had figured it out. My body completely removed itself from the dream, so that my dream self didn’t notice the time going by, and my real self didn’t feel the emotions caused by my dream. Confusing, I know.
“Um, so can I go now?” I looked up at Grayson awkwardly. He smiled slightly.
“Go ahead, El.” I stood and left the room, careful to not question Grayson following me. I may have made Grayson surprised that I was actually capable of something, and I cannot say that it didn’t feel good. Proving yourself has a sort of satisfaction that lasts a while, and pairing with pride, it may never go away.