Life Is What You Make It (A Tom Hiddleston Fanfic)

Part 17: The Photo

Food and Feelings

Tom verifies with Dave that it's the usual delivery person from the Chinese restaurant, so Tom tells him to come on up. While we're waiting, he tells me where to find napkins. When I ask about plates, Tom suggests we just eat from the containers and switch periodically. "Forks?" I ask. Tom turns to me, and gives me a look as if I've sprouted horns. I'm not sure what's wrong, but I covertly feel my head just in case.

"One does not eat Chinese food with a fork," Tom says as he answers a knock at the door. After paying and tipping the delivery person, Tom closes the door and joins me in the kitchen. "One eats Chinese food with chopsticks," he says, smiling as he produces two sets from the takeout bag.

I shrug as if to say, 'Whatever,' and take the proffered container and set of chopsticks. We wander to one of the sofas and sit side-by-side as Tom picks up the remote and powers on the television. I start eating at the same time Tom does, but it seems I am getting less food in my mouth than he is. Each time I try to use the chopsticks, the food slips from their grasp.

"A fork. A fork. My kingdom for a fork," I say in exasperation. Tom looks at me, and I can see he's relenting on his 'No Forks for Chinese Food' rule. "Withdraw, my lady; I'll help you to a fork," he says as he rises from the sofa.

I follow Tom to the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?" Tom asks, reading my mind. "Yes, please," I say. Tom nods toward the refrigerator. "Have whatever you like. There's water, beer, and I think there maybe a bottle of wine or two," he says. "What would you like?" I ask. He thinks for a moment and says, "A beer would be nice."

I walk to the fridge to retrieve the beers while Tom carries my fork and a bottle opener back to the sofa. As I reach for the handle, I smile at the pictures that Tom has fastened by magnets to the front. There's one of him with RDJ, and Tom is making the devil horns sign behind Bob's head. There's a couple of Hemsworth and Tom, both in and out of character as Thor and Loki. There's also one of Hemsworth with his family on holiday.

As I examine the Hemsworth family photo more closely, I see that there is another photo hidden behind it. I move it to see that it is Tom and a woman in an embrace. I recognize the woman - Allison Grey. She's an actor whom Tom played opposite a few years ago when he was in Wallander. Rumor has it that they started dating not long after they met, and that they were hot and heavy for about a year. Then, they started showing up to social and business events without each other, and the press just speculated that it had fizzled out. To my knowledge, neither Tom nor Allison ever made a public comment about the breakup.

I cover the photo again, though my hands are shaking from shock. I'm not shocked because I found the picture, nor that Tom was with Allison in it. What shocks me, hurts me actually, is that Tom has the exact same small smile in the photo. His special little smile that is supposed to be just for me.

I know it seems silly how much I'm letting this affect me. I mean, after all, they're Tom's lips. He can share his little smile with whomever he wants...the rat bastard! And he never promised that smile was just for me. I just thought that, maybe, I'm special enough to him that he thinks I deserve a just-for-me smile.

To vent some of my sudden anger, I yank open the fridge to retrieve the beers. "Darling, your food's getting cold. Are you having trouble finding the beer?" Tom asks from his place on the sofa. "Got 'em right here," I respond, trying to calm my emotions.

Hey, you know what would calm my emotions? Breaking this beer bottle over Mr. Small Smiles head! I think. Yeah, that would calm me the fuck down!

Instead of acting on my impulse, I walk to the sofa and retake my seat, though I sit a bit further from Tom. I hand one of the bottles to Tom, and he opens it quickly, watching whatever he's found on TV. He hands the bottle back and reaches for the other, eyes still glued to the show he's watching. It looks like a murder mystery - great, maybe I can get some pointers.