May 13, 2:46 am
Morning already came and still, I can’t sleep. I’m too worried about Drew to think of my sleep. I don’t want to miss any minute that we spend together. I’m too scared that if I sleep, he might slip away without me knowing. I would go through hell just to make sure that that won’t happen.
Some people say that home is where the heart is. I guess that’s true. I’ve been living with the one I love for almost a month already and I have to say that I’ve never been that happy for such a long period of time. Even if Drew’s condition is getting worse by the moment, I’m still happy because I get to share each and every day with him.
Maybe without him, I wouldn’t know what to do. Maybe without him, I wouldn’t know where to go. Drew has been my inspiration and my strength for the past few years. Other people may not notice it, but even if we broke up, I never changed my status on FB. It remained to be “In a relationship with Drew A.”.
Funny right? We broke up. We didn’t have any means of communication except the one sided letter writing thing from me but I kept on making myself believe that we are still together. Maybe because we are really meant to be. Well, I hope that would be true. I don’t know what I would do if I’ll lose him again. It’s been so hard living without him. I couldn’t handle another pain because of him.
At this moment in time, there’s a song that makes sense to me. Not all lyrics may apply but the moment that I heard that song again, it made me realize how empty I’ll be without Drew.
It feels so different being here, I was so used to being next to you
Life for me is not the same, there’s no one to talk to
I don't know why I let it go too far, starting over it's so hard
Seems like everywhere I try to go I keep thinking of you
I just had a wakeup call wishing that I never let you fall
Baby you are not to blame at all when I'm the one that pushed you away
Maybe if you knew I cared you’d’ve never went nowhere
Girl I should have been right there
How do I breathe without you here by my side?
How will I see when your love brought me to the light?
Where do I go when your heart’s where I lay my head?
When you’re not with me, how do I breathe, how do I breathe?
Girl I'm losing my mind, yes I made a mistake
I thought that you would be mine, guess the joke was on me
I miss you so bad I can’t sleep, I wish I knew where you could beAnother dude is replacing me, god this can’t be happening!
I just had a wakeup call wishing that I never let you fall
[- From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/mario-lyrics/how-do-i-breathe-lyrics.html -]
Baby you are not to blame at all when I'm the one that pushed you away
Maybe if you knew I cared you’d’ve never went nowhere
Girl I should have been right there
And I wonder
How do I breathe without you here by my side?
How will I see when your love brought me to the light?
Where do I go when your heart’s where I lay my head?
When you’re not with me, how do I breathe, how do I breathe?
Ooh, I should’ve brought my love home, girl
And baby I ain’t perfect, you know
The grind has got a tight hold, girl, come back to me
‘Cause girl you made it hard to breathe when you’re not with me
Tell me, how do I breathe without you here by my side?
How will I see when your love brought me to the light?
Where do I go when your heart’s where I lay my head?
When you’re not with me how do I breathe?
How do I breathe without you here by my side?
How will I see when your love brought me to the light?
Where do I go when your heart’s where I lay my head?
When you’re not with me, how do I breathe, how do I breathe?
I know How Do I Live would have been a better song but I don’t like to emote that much maybe that’s the reason why I chose this song. To be honest, I really don’t care about the other songs in the world. All that matter to me right now is the life that Drew and I are sharing today.
Oh, by the way, I have a surprise for Drew. I hope he would agree to it. <3
Looking back,
Michelle
