Begin Again

5 - Journal Entry 27/8/16

Author's note: Thanks for 400 reads! I'm so glad and grateful for you all, didn't think I would get a hundred reads, much less four hundred! Hope I can continue writing good, very sorry if I'm quite slow.  <3 pre-college life is a doozy
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Elle

Sarah and I almost had an argument that night. After she left, I couldn't really go to sleep. Is it called insomnia if I couldn't sleep only sometimes? Like when my mind is full of confusion and thoughts about people in my life. Like when I have a disagreement or I feel ill at ease with a friend.

Sarah can never be called someone typically nice. Adjectives that suit her are 'opinionated', 'funny' and 'a good conversationalist'. She also is mildly bossy, selfish at times and slightly unreliable. Nobody's perfect. The blend of goods and bads became one amazing 'Sarah' personality that I love. That's why I'm kinda bummed.

Our disagreement was about Hunter. She told me he was a jerk and that I should disassociate with him completely. That he was pretending to be nice. But again, yesterday, Hunter assures me that he's my closest friend from a long time ago and oh god I don't know who to believe. When I told her that, Sarah got mad and said "Fine, I'm so tired of this. If you wanna trust him, go on. You'll learn when it happens all over again."

I asked her "When what happens, Sarah?" She just looked sullen and pursed her lips. "Nevermind Elle.. I'm sorry. You really did lose your memory about him?" We talked some more and I told her I could handle whatever comes myself because I didn't want to trouble her. She did have a maquillage business to run.

"I guess.. maybe I'm getting too carried away in my dislike of him. Maybe he's better than lastime. Who knows? Since he sounds like he's changed, if I see him I'll be good to him, for your sake. I gotta go now Elle. Call me when you need me hun." She said something like that. We hugged and she left. About Hunter, I myself had a few doubts. To be honest, at first I thought he was creepy and just accepted his kindness, acting normal.

But slowly he began to grow on me. He's definitely caring and sometimws he's funny in a dorky way. I don't find him attractive but he is tall and gentle. A gentle giant. Yeah.

He buys me a lot of things, it's crazy. With other guys, it would probably mean they want to show off their wealth, or whatever, but with Hunter it seems natural for him to buy me things. To him it's like no big deal. I guess buying stuff for people is easier when you're rich, which I think he most probably is. And I don't know why I'm okay with him buying me stuff.

My guilt and conscience doesn't come on to me as strongly as it normally would if it was him buying me stuff. It could be either as he said, we are close friends and he always buys me stuff that I can't buy for myself (surprise surprise I don't have a lot of money) or that I'm becoming a goldigger.

I typed these thoughts in my phone's journal so I could refer to them for writing inspiration. I let my feelings flow while I wrote, and slowly my arms and eyelids grew heavy.

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Narrator P.o.v.

When Hunter entered the ward in the late afternoon, Elle was fast asleep. Her phone was in her fallen hand, the screen still lit up. He took it from her to put it down beside her pillow but he saw his name on the screen amongst the words.

Hunter thought there would be no harm in taking a quick look. It was a journal entry in a sort of journal app, it was obvious because there was the date, day, mood-picking feature and rate-your-day feature above the lines where she typed her entry. Her entry was long. She did love writing essays and he knew from when she showed him some parts of her unfinished novella (paper pages and all) journals in the past, she always went into detail about things when they evoke her emotions.

The rest were about wanting to walk again. Hunter was annoyed at Sarah and her words. 'Friends are not dogs.' One of the sentences he spoke to Sarah firmly on one of the days in his last high school year. That was when she tried to control Elle into not talking to him, just like what she tried to do last night.

He used to be good friends with Sarah. Now she wasn't exactly on his list of favourite people, to say the least. He considered confronting her. Elle stirred in her sleep and stretched a little, letting out soft yawn-moan sound. He wondered what time she fell asleep.

He turned the phone screen off and slipped the phone beneath her pillow.