I'd Do Anything

Chapter 2

"I'm so sorry that I can't care for you as a mother should. Today should be a good day, yet It'll turn sour. I just can't care for you two anymore. I've watched you over these months and I have no doubt in my mind about what I'm doing. I'll be back one day, but for now I just need to be alone. I have lost the love of my life, as well as myself. Looking at two spitting imagines of him is a hard pill to swallow. Always be a lady and raise my babygirl right. Enclosed in this card is the deed to this house, (which I've paid for) and money is in the account for necessities. I love you sweetheart, I just need time. Mommy's proud of you already. Xoxo"

I fell to the floor weeping, the feeling of abandonment was one I wasn't able to handle. My father was gone and my mother gave up on us. The picture perfect image of my family was damaged and my worst fear was a reality, the thought of the struggle that I knew was coming was hurting me. I sat and cried silently while I stared at the birthday card that was being soaked with my tears.

Then after the crying stage, I was in pure and utter rage. I could've punched a wall over and over.

I called my bestfriend, Celeste answered on the 2nd ring.

"Hello mi lovey, I was about to call you. ", she answered all peppy with her heavy Jamaican accent

"She's so fucking selfish, I can't even believe it. How can she just up and leave us? Like the situation is only hard for her." I said built up with fire

"Oh God. Run down the story to mi. Tis' has to be a good one." And with that I told the story, about how my mother was leaving me to fend for myself in this world.

After I finished, it was silent for a while until she spoke

"What will you do?" She finally asked

"What do you mean? I'll take care of her. I have no choice."

"Mi friend, you're seventeen ... We got so much life to live, Tings to see." She started

"Do not say it. Don't even try to bring that negativity in this right now. Anything I have to see in this world, she'll see with me." I defended

"Whoa, mi not ti enemy. Mi just saying, are you sure tis' is the lifestyle you want? Forever?" She asked

"I've never been sure of anything else. I can't lose her in the system."

She was silent for a while, "I just don't support tis', you can find a good family for her. And you can live with mi. You can still live your life. Just tink about it"

I was in disbelief. I said nothing. I just hung up the phone. I was not losing my sister to the government, it's a possibility that I would never find her again. I wasn't taking that risk. But her words sunk into me at the same time, I was biting off so much, what if I couldn't chew it all?

That is when it hit, that I didn't have anyone through this. I would have to do it all alone. I got on my knees, he was all I had.

"God, can I do this? Send me a sign."

And then she cried out. I quickly fixed and warmed her a bottle and walked up the stairs to her room picking her up. Giving her the warm milk cooing. When she calmed, she drifted back into sleep.

I walked outside for some fresh air.  My first instinct was to scream and that's exactly what I did. I felt like I was shaking the Earth beneath me. I cried the most saddest cry; you know how you hold your mouth and you can't breathe? You don't whether to hold your head, stomach, or heart because they all hurt? That's the kind of cry that filled my neighborhood that day.

"My child, what is wrong?" I heard Ms. Johnson say

"My mom is gone. We don't have anybody." I replied