i.
i sit here now, heart in hand
what did you think you were doing when you burned your body to the ground?
i say, stop.
i say, i will love you.
these days, i wonder if either of those will happen.
ii.
when i was sixteen i wrote a suicide letter
your name dripped from my words
when you left me, i cut my hair and
i cut my arms
now you are fine and i am stuck with the signs of my
mourning.
iii.
first morning
second summer
you lips still burned on my skin even after i left
i showered six times that day
iv.
on the first valentines you got me a globe and a
bulb
you said 'you light up my world'
i said 'i love you'
(i left that day and thinking back
i cant remember you ever saying it back)
v.
i used to lie awake at night and
think of all the ways i could be better
when you came i was still awake but
this time you were there
and so was a bruise on my cheek
vi.
once
i googled what it means to be an abuse victim
i closed the screen before i looked at the answers
vii.
now
i think that you never loved me
never realizing what he did to you || e.s.
