Monstercat University I

Chapter 012

[Dilumi's POV]

     When we go back into the other room, Aero Chord, Noisestorm, and Braken have all fallen asleep. Noisestorm is sitting in the armchair with his head propped on his fist, Aero Chord is laying diagonally across his bed on his side with one arm and both feet hanging off, and Braken is laying...well, half-laying on the bottom bunk. He is on his stomach, and his left leg and left arm are hanging off completely. His face is turned towards us with his fine black hair falling over part of it, and...it looks hilarious. Tristam covers his face with his elbow to stifle a laugh, then pulls out his phone. "Tristam, what are you doing?!" I hiss.
     "He never wants me to get pictures of him while he's awake, but he hasn't said anything about when he's asleep," Tristam whispers to me, grinning sheepishly.
     "Léandre Bérubé!" I slap him on the arm.
     "Shhh," he says, putting his warm hand over my mouth. I study him from the side as he watches Braken. I'm really getting addicted to that smile of his. He shuts off his iPhone and looks at me, then he mouths 'ow' and rubs his arm where I slapped it, trying to make puppy eyes at me. I'm about to explode with laughter. "Come on, let's go outside," Tristam whispers, and leads me out the door and down the hall. Before we get very far, I hear someone call my name from behind me and turn around. It's Alex from the Pegboard Nerds, who has opened the door to their dorm room (across from Tristam's) and is leaning out. I smile. The Pegboard Nerds are a couple of the nicest individuals you'll ever meet, not to mention they make some of the most insane music you'll ever hear.
     "Yeah?" I answer.
     "Play us in your set Wednesday night!" Alex calls.
     "I'm playing Coffins!" I call back happily. Alex smiles and nods contentedly, closing the door again.
     "Why not Razor Sharp?" Tristam asks as we turn around and walk again. I giggle. "Well, why not?" he persists, taking my hand. I look up into his brown eyes, which are sparkling with humor. What a relief he's just messing with me.
     "I'm playing a bunch of your songs, now you just wait," I say, elbowing him.
     "Which ones?"
     "I'm not telling you," I grin. Tristam's eyes shift to the ceiling, and he rubs his chin.
     "Hmmm, let's see..." he says.
     "Nooo!" I laugh. He lets go of my hand to open the door, and we remain quiet as we step outside to have a look at the quickly setting sun. I follow him down across the parking lot to the bridge over the lake, where we lean against the railing and watch the clouds shift from orange to pink to purple as the sky gets deeper and deeper blue. The colors of the sky reflect gorgeously off the prism of the water. After several minutes, I finally break the silence. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I sigh.
     "Yeah," Tristam replies. Did he just move closer to me? I think to myself. I can't tell. But that does remind me of something.
     "Hey Tristam?"
     "What?"
     "Do-do you...um..." Suddenly I think of everything that could go wrong. I think of every part of our friendship that could shatter like a vase into a million pieces if I said this. But it's too late now. I have to let it out. "Do you ever want us to be more than friends?" I say quickly. My heart pangs as soon as it's out of my mouth, and I realize how stupid I probably am to even think of saying such a thing to him. He looks at me the same as he's been for a couple more seconds and then turns his head away and looks down into the lake. I can't tell what he is thinking. I wish guys weren't so impossible to read when you want to be able to read them the most. I look away from him. Then I hear someone calling my name. For now, I'm somewhat thankful that the awkwardness is broken. Soulero rushes up to me.
     "Am I, like, interrupting anything?" he asks, looking from Tristam to me. I silently shake my head. "Well, I really want to play Truth on Wednesday...so can I do that, or are you taking it?" I realize I haven't even thought about that song, somehow.
     "Wasn't planning to," I say.
     "Okay, and I know I said I was gonna start on 135 BPM, but now I'm thinking something lower, like, around 128. Is that ok?"
     "Sure."
     "Thanks so much. And one last thing, do you happen to know where Droptek is?"
     "Gym, last time I checked."
     "Thanks again." Soulero starts back towards the parking lot and waves. "See you around!"
     "Bye!" I turn back to Tristam, who is still standing there looking down at the lake. Crap, this is so awkward I want to bury my face in my arms, or crawl out of my skin, or both. He probably feels the same way. All this time I've been holding out with this little hope that he might like me too. How foolish could I be. He was such a nice friend to me. Now everything will crash. I bite my lip viciously to keep from bursting into tears. "I'm cold. I'm going inside," I say as soon as I can gather myself enough to speak in a steady voice. Without thinking twice, I shove myself away from the railing and take off sprinting down the bridge, not stopping even when Tristam calls my name. I keep my head down and run across the parking lot and into the building, and I don't stop until I'm at the door of my dorm room, where I take a minute to catch my breath before going in. Anna is on her laptop, and Veela is in bed on her phone. Both look up when I walk in.
     "You have fun?" Anna asks. Oh yeah, I completely forgot that I had told them I was going to the gym.
     "Yep," I respond. I decide to take a shower. That usually helps to calm me. Waiting for the water to warm up, I lean against the wall and bury my head in my hands, sobbing quietly. What have I done? This was such a mistake. I've blown it. And where do I go now? What do I say to fix this? How am I even supposed to face him now?! Well, there must be some way. I step into the shower and let my tears mingle with the hot water. Soon, it soothes my body and relaxes my muscles. My tears stop and my heart rate and breathing slow down to normal. When I get out I decide to calm my mind by listening to music. Music isn't just what I do, it's who I am, and I know it's a passion I can lean on no matter what. I get out my old earbuds just for fun and put them in. I obviously can't listen to Tristam right now, and any song related to love is out of the question. I can't even think about love. The songs I try listening to end up reminding me of my exchange with Tristam in some way, shape, or form...but then I think of Fractal. He's got some pretty great instrumental stuff. I put on Duality, lay back on my bed and close my eyes, sinking into the deepness of the bass and letting the drums take me on a ride. I try to focus on the music and not think about what happened. After that I decide to pull up Iceladen because of its amazing beat and addictive vocals. By the end of that song I am happy, and my mind is at rest. I take my earbuds out, set my phone on the side table, and lay down. I close my eyes, and within a few minutes I am asleep.