Monstercat University I

Chapter 021

[Dilumi's POV]

I am walking with Danyka towards the dining hall when suddenly, Veela rushes up to me with tears pouring down her face. I stare at her in shock. I've never seen her cry before. Ever. "I'm so sorry," she sobs, grasping me by the arm. "I'm sorry I posted that picture. The only reason I did it was because I liked Tristam too," Veela spills out, gasping in between sentences. "When I saw you with him I got so jealous, and the only thing I was thinking about was revenge. I didn't think about how much it would hurt you. And now I see that it doesn't matter. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay. I forgive you," I say, wrapping her in a hug as Danyka watches us.
"I'm so sorry," Veela says into my shoulder in a muffled voice.
"Veela, really. It's okay. C'mon," I say, pulling away but leaving one arm around her shoulder. Danyka, Veela, and I go down the hall together in silence, except for Veela's occasional sniffing, until we reach the crowded dining hall, where we break apart. Tristam's absence seems to have made an impact on everyone. The dining hall is a lot quieter than usual, and the chatter and laughter you normally hear in here has toned down to soft murmurs. It makes sense. Tristam has been an artist here for as long as many of the other students, including myself, have known. And everybody loved him. Several people look at me sympathetically as I cross the room, and I stare back at them blankly. Holly Drummond comes up to me as we take our place in line, saying she is sorry about me losing Tristam. I tell her it's fine, because I really have nothing else to say. But it's not fine. As Danyka, Veela, Holly and I sit down with Braken, Noisestorm, and Aero Chord, I can tell this is not affecting Braken very well either. He seems to be hiding deeper in his hoodie than ever, and Aero Chord is having to push him to eat anything. I don't really have that big of an appetite either, but I force myself to eat at least some of the mac & cheese on my plate. I still wish I could just go back to bed and then wake up and have everything be fine again. For a few minutes there is no commotion, and I concentrate on slowly taking one bite of mac & cheese and then one bite of green beans and then one sip of water, again and again.
"Braken, what- OH MY GOSH!!!!!" Noisestorm screams suddenly. I look up just in time to see Noisestorm's tight hold on Braken's arm, which is covered with several fresh-looking, and obviously self-inflicted, scars. I'm so shocked I almost drop my fork on my plate. I had no idea Braken would react THIS badly. Braken yanks his arm away forcefully, almost knocking over his glass of water, which Aero Chord catches just in time.
"Noisestorm, would you shut up?!" Aero Chord hisses, then immediately turns to Braken, who is sitting with his head down. I watch them get up together and walk out, glued to each other's side. Noisestorm gets up and starts to go with them, but Aero Chord tells him to stay. I swallow the mac & cheese sitting in my mouth and turn back around. The others still look very alarmed and are whispering to one another, and several people are looking over at us from adjoining tables.
"Has he ever done that before?" I ask Noisestorm. Noisestorm shakes his head.
"Not in the time he's been here." Gosh, this really must have affected him horribly. I feel awful to see one of my friends like this. Why can't this all just be a dream?

[Aero Chord's POV]

As we walk down the hall, a hundred questions are running through my mind, at the top of them a curiousity of what made Braken do this. But right now, I just need to help him. We go into the bathroom closest to the dining hall, and I start the water in the sink as Braken leans against the wall with his arms crossed, watching me. "Here," I say, beckoning to him, and he comes over to me. I figure it will be easier for me to clean his arm if he doesn't have the hoodie on, so I gently tell him to take it off. He shakes his head, backing away a couple inches. "Braken. Please." I look up into his cold brown eyes, so dark they look almost black, and the fear, anger, sadness and pain I see in them shoots through me like an arrow and sends a shudder up my spine. It's then I realize that I don't really know that much about him. He looks at me for a couple seconds and then slowly takes the hoodie off, coming closer to me. I run his arm under the water, wiping away the excess blood, then dry it with my shirt and examine the cuts. Gosh, they look deep. I sigh. "Come on. Let's go to the nurses' office and we can get this bandaged up, okay?" Braken nods, grabbing his hoodie and pulling it back on. I start towards the door.
"Alex?" I hear a small, shaky voice behind me and turn back towards Braken, who is still standing there.
"Yeah?"
"I can't live without Tristam," he says, tears forming in his eyes.
"Yes you can! Please don't say that!" I step closer and wrap his trembling body into a hug as he starts to sob. "It's okay. I'll help you get through this," I say in a soothing voice. Then I pull away and put my hands on his shoulders, looking him intently in the eyes. "Don't let yourself give up." Braken nods, sniffing. I pause for a second and then look back at him. "Where's the knife? I don't want you to do this to yourself." Braken pulls a pocket knife from his back pocket and hands it to me, and I put it into my own pocket. "C'mon," I say, leading him towards the door.

---

[Braken's POV]

With a strip of gauze wound tightly around my wrist and forearm and my hoodie covering me, I walk into the dorm behind Aero Chord and shut the door behind us. I sit down on Noisestorm's bed and run my finger along the pattern of his blanket. Out of the corner of my eye I see Aero Chord walk around and sit across from me on his own bed. "Braken, who are you?" he asks me in a fairly quiet voice. I glance up at him as he stares straight into my eyes, then I slowly look back down. I don't know who I am. People probably think I'm the luckiest person in the world. My fans must all think I'm so awesome. Once I saw a person say that it must be fun being Braken. It's not. For years now I've lived under this mysterious alias so the world wouldn't see through to the depressed, broken person I really am. The pressure of the fans on me is so strong. They expect so much of me as a person. But they don't know. I feel like I can do nothing. Tristam was everything to me. "Tell me who you are," Aero urges me. Tristam was everything. But who am I on my own? For years I've never told anyone about my life but Tristam. He's been by my side the whole way. He knows who I am. Sometimes I feel like he knows better than I do. But I have nowhere else to turn now. I might as well just let it all out. Maybe that will help me. I look up into Alex's eyes once more, open my mouth, and suddenly find myself telling him everything.