Monstercat University I

Chapter 019

[Dilumi's POV]

     I sit in my desk, staring off into nothing. Even though I've seen reality now, I find it hard to believe that Tristam is gone. Class is going by at an excruciating pace, and all my eyes can seem to fall on is Tristam's empty desk at the front of the room. I can barely keep my mind focused on Drumstep for two minutes before the memory of Tristam flashes through my mind again, and my heart floods with despair. The only way I can push the feeling away is to focus on Rootkit's teaching. But as time goes on I can't. I can feel myself starting to break. I know bad feelings tend to hit me later, not right away. Nothing feels right now. I'm so used to seeing Tristam's face in class and having his sense of humor all over Monstercat University. And his smile. I'll never be able to see it again. I'll never be able to tell him I love him. Why?! Why did I wait so late? Why did I hold back for so long? Why did I wait all this time, thinking I had forever? It's all gone now. Oh gosh, I can feel the tears coming. I need to get out of here.

[Danyka's POV]

     "Yes, Dilumi?" Rootkit says. I look over at her.
     "I feel kinda sick...can I go?" she requests, sliding out of her seat in slow motion. I can tell by the look on her face and her tone of voice that that's not why she's leaving.
     "Yes, of course," Rootkit says gently, some concern in his eyes. I guess he sees it too. Dilumi exits through the door and then shuts it softly. I wait for a couple minutes before asking Rootkit if I can leave. I think he sees straight through me also, but nevertheless, he lets me go. After closing the door, I run down the hallway, headed for the girls' dorms. Sure enough, as soon as I walk through the door to Dilumi's room, I see her laying on her bed, her face buried in the pillow, shaking with sobs. I walk forward and lay a hand on her back. She turns her head to look at me and then sits up.
     "I never got to tell him I loved him," she spills out through her tears. I lean in and wrap my arms around her, trying to mollify her by running my hand slowly up and down her back.
     "I'm sorry," I whisper.
     "Why? Why does this happen?" I pull back away.
     "Everything happens for a reason," I say softly.
     "But why did Tristam have to die?!" she continues almost immediately.
     "I don't know," I respond, shrugging and shaking my head at the same time. Dilumi looks away from me and tries to wipe away some of the tears. I go into the bathroom, find a box of tissues, and bring it to her, sitting back down again. Glancing towards the floor, I see a ladybug making its way across. "Ooh, look!"
     "What?" Dilumi sniffs.
     "A ladybug!" I exclaim, reaching down and letting it climb onto my hand then bending back up so Dilumi can see it. I watch her as she fixes an intent gaze on it.
     "You love animals, don't you?" she asks me.
     "Yep," I smile, setting the ladybug back down. Another tear rolls down Dilumi's face. "I'm running away from a past I left behind," I begin singing. It's her favorite song. "Looking for answers, but I'm blinded by the light." I can't hear her voice, but I can see her mouth forming the lyrics as I sing them. "I'm lost in the music, can't I stay here for the night?" I pick up my voice. This is a fun song to sing. Soon I can hear Dilumi's voice joining in. "I promise I'll be gone in the morning, out of sight and out of mind!" Dilumi bites her lip and looks down, trying to stop the tears from coming again. "You'll be okay," I reassure her, patting her on the shoulder. "I know you will."