New beginnings (A Finn Harries fanfic)

10. Ready to risk it all

´´It´s always something about the London rain that makes me feel so happy´´I said as I walked hand in hand with Finn down the streets of London. The rain poured down on the steady ground. Finn smiled at me as we continued to walk down the empty street, giving us some time to think. It´s been four months since Finn told me he loved me for the very first time. Everything had changed since then. I was his and he was mine. The thought of that made my heart race. The past four months had been nothing but the best time of my life. I´d never thought when I moved to London, I would get that many close friends and for not to mention a boyfriend who I truly loved. It was all surreal. Every now and then, I couldn´t help but think about our life together and where this would take us. I looked at Finn, his strong jaw, piercing green eyes, plump lips, his messy hair, just everything about him made me go crazy.  

´´Good night, beautiful´´Finn stroke my cheek and i could feel my cheeks burning. I still haven´t got used to being complimented a lot my him.His accent made me even more crazy. My head was resting on his chest, his arms were wrapped around me and our legs were wrapped around each others. ´´Good night babe, I love you´´I said, kissing him softly on his lips. I´d gotten pretty used to this after four months of him always sleeping over. It was driving me crazy when I was around him, but it drove me even more insane when i wasn´t. ´´I love you too´´Finn said with his husky voice, sending shivers down my spine as he kissed me back. I could lay here forever, just being in his arms were everything I ever wanted. Being in his arms made me feel so secure and loved, not ever wanting to let go of him. 

I caught myself smiling when I dreamed about when Finn asked me to be his girlfriend.  ´´Where are we going?´´I giggled. ´´You are always so impatient´´ Finn complained, sticking his tongue out to me. What a child. ´´You´ll wait and see, ok?´´ He smiled at me, knowing i never resisted his smile. ´´Okay´´ I pouted. The car pulled into a unfamiliar road that seemed to lead us to no where. Is this where he is going to kill me? ´´Are you sure--?´´Finn cut me of before i could finish my sentence. ´´I´m sure, love´´ He opened the car door for me, taking my hand as i got out. We were standing at a green field of grass. Quite beautiful if i had to admit it. I smiled at Finn as he lead the way over a small bridge. I gasped as I saw what was laying right infront of me. ´´Finn´´I said shocked. I looked at the blankets and all the food laying on top of it in a basket with a bottle of champagne. Did he really do all this? ´´Cheeky huh?´´he grinned at me, proud of what he´d done. Finn always knew how to make me laugh. 

´´Dance with me´´Finn said. I was so stuffed from all the food i´d just eaten, and now he wanted me to dance? I would never be able to fully understand him. ´´But there aren´t any music´´I said. ´´We don´t need music´´ Finn reached for my arm and pulled me up to him, my blue eyes meeting his piercing green. We intertwined our fingers together, Finn put his other arm on my hip and our feet moved back and forth slowly. Then all the sudden the rain started pouring, making me laugh. London always knew how to suprise me. The rain left us soaking wet, but we didn´t really care. The only thing we cared about was us being together. ´´Emily´´Finn asked. I looked at him. ´´Yeah?´´ Finn smiled at me, makining my body warm. ´´You know i love you right?´´I nodded. ´´And that I always will be here for you´´I nodded. ´´What are you trying to say, Finn?´´I asked, not knowing why he asked me these questions. Was he doubting my love for him? ´´Will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?´´He asked me. My lips slowly parted. I´d been dreaming of a moment like this my whole life. I nodded. ´´Yes´´I said and our lips crashed against each others. And there we was standing in the pouring rain, just the two of us. He was mine, and I was his.

Present day. 

´´What´s wrong, babe?´´I asked as I saw Finn sitting by the table with a sad look on his face. My heart skipped a beat. I hated seeing him upset and I would do anything to make him happy.  ´´I got this big job offer´´Finn said, looking down. ´´Oh my god, that´s great´´I said, not knowing why he was upset if he got offered a new job. I walked towards him, sitting down at the chair next to him. ´´The job is really great, it´s everything i want´´Finn looked at me, biting his lip. ´´But?´´I asked, feeling a little twist in my chest. ´´The job is in Los Angeles´´ He refused to meet my eyes. I bit my tongue. I didn´t know if i should be happy for him or sad. A little bit of both was probably what i was feeling right now. ´´It´s your dream´´I said. I didn´t want him to go, but he had been working so hard for a offer like this and i couldn´t be the one making him stay. ´´I know that´´he said. ´´Then take it. You might never get a offer like this´´My heart broke into millions of pieces as the words left my lips. I knew this relationship would come to and end sooner or later, but this moment was now. ´´I can´t just leave you´´Finn said, wiping a tear away from his cheek.  ´´I don´t want to be the person standing in front of his dreams´´I said as tears rolled down my cheek. I tuckled a strand of my long hair behind my ear. Finn bit his lip, looking at my with red eyes. 

Two days had passed, there was two days since the last time I saw Finn. For the past two days i´d been staying in my bed without moving an inch. My eyes were sore from crying and tired of the lack of sleep. I bit the inside of my cheek. I was a mess and i´d never experienced this much pain before. Was love supposed to hurt this much?My heart, or the tiny little piece left of my heart broke at the thought of Finn leaving today. He´d left me a couple of messages, but i didn´t feel like answering him. It was for the best that he let go of me before he moved to a different country. He would find someone much better than me, much prettier and a girl who deserved him just as much as he deserved her. He´d be happy and I would be staying here, in london, blocking my friends and everyone else i know out of my life. 

The hours passed and I had only been laying in my beed, feeling sorry for myself. I wasn´t ready to let Finn go, but for all the time i´ve spent on thinking about what he wanted i forgot to think about what i truly wanted. And it was nothing like this. How could i be so stupid? I didn´t realise it until now that I was about to let the most important person in my life walk away without a good bye. I quickly stood up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, putting on any kind of makeup i owned to cover the red, sore eyes and used a lot of hairproducts to fix my hair. I didn´t get any time to shower. I ran to my dresser and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a black tank top, before pulling it on fast and running down stairs while i called for a cab. I had to get to Finn before his flight take off. I was one hour away from making the biggest mistake of my life. It took only a couple of minutes before the cab pulled into the driving lot. I opened the door fast and jumped inside. ´´To the airport please´´ I said in a hurry. 

´´Thanks for the ride´´I said as I gave the cab driver the money and left the car. I jogged into the airport, avoiding people staring at me. I only cared about one thing. Finding Finn. My heart raced. I was this close to seeing him again, yet I was this close to maybe lose him forever if i don´t hurry up. I looked up at the big screen, scanning it for the gate number to LA. Gate 78.  I ran towards the boarding hall. ´´I´m sorry, but can you let me in. I need to get to my boyfriend before i make the biggest mistake of my life.´´I asked the woman sitting behind the counter. She looked at me like she knew what i was talking about. ´´I´m sorry miss, but i am not allowed to do that´´The woman said, making tears streaming down my cheek. ´´Please´´I begged. ´´Okey then, but be quick.´´She said. ´´Thank you´´I shouted as I ran towards gate 78. ´´Gate 78, get ready to board.´´ I felt my throat getting dry. ´´Finn´´I shouted as I was standing where gate 78 was supposed to be. I scanned the room for him, not seeing him anywhere. ´´Finn´´I continued.  My legs weakened and caused me to fall down. He was gone. ´´Emily´´A familiar voice shouted from behind. I turned around. Our eyes met. My lips partened. ´´Finn?´´ I said to myself. ´´Oh my god, Finn´´I nearly shouted as I got up, running toward him, wrapping my arms around him. ´´I´m sorry´´I said. Before he could say anything i continued. ´´Instead of thinking about what I wanted, i thought about what you wanted.´´ I looked at him. I missed him so much. ´´I don´t want you to leave me. I want to go with you. I´m ready to risk it all as long as i am with you´´I smiled at him, feeling as the moment lasted forever. Finn looked suprised. ´´What about university´´he asked. ´´I can always go back to university whenever i want to, but i don´t care about that. I love you, Finn and i was only a few seconds away from making the biggest mistake of my life. I will go wherever you want to as long as we always will be together ´´ I said, speaking so fast that he probably didn´t understand everything that came out of my mouth. Instead of saying anything, his lips met mine. Kissing me like it was going to be our last kiss. ´´I love you too. ´´Finn said, pulling me into another hug. My heart raced and all of the sadness i´d felt the past two days was gone. This was all i wanted, to be with Finn for as long as i could. I was willing to risk it all just to be with him.