New beginnings (A Finn Harries fanfic)

5. The choice

As i shut the door to my room, i leaned against it. My knees felt weak and i touched my lips where Finn had kissed me twenty minutes ago. I felt pure happiness in my bloodstream. The whole day had been perfect. I grabbed some clothes as i descided to take a quick shower. I always loved showering, because it gives me a space to clear my mind and relax. I needed to get my mind off Finn for a moment. I walked out of my room and into the bath. Less than two minutes later I felt the hot water stream down my body, relaxing every muscle in my body.  

Panic set in. I´d scanned the bathroom for my clothes without any luck of finding them. I thought i brought them with me. Maybe I just thought i got them with me when I really didn´t? I wrapped the towel closer around my naked body as  I nearly ran out of the bathroom in the direction of my room wishing that none of the twins saw me. I closed the door shut behind me, seeing my clothes lay on top of the bed. I must have left them there. Then suddenly i realised noticed something. I gasped. ´´What the hell?´´I shouted as I saw another person sitting on my bed, feeling my heart literally jumping up in my throat. He was sitting on the top of my bed, grinning at the thought of me almost standing naked infront of him. His perfectly green eyes scanned my body. ´´Jack, what are you doing here?´´I asked annoyed. It´s not that he´s not allowed to be in my, well Finn´s room. It was just that he sat in my bed, grinning while i was literally standing naked infront of him. He winked. When he didn´t answer, i could feel my body tensing. I don´t think that it was him sitting in my room that annoyed me. It was just that if i look it him for one more second i don´t think i would be able to control my self. I felt bad too, for feeling something for Finn´s brother. That´s simply why i really wanted him out of the room. ´´Get out, i have to change´´ I said. ´´It´s nothing i haven´t seen before, love´´he smirked as i tried to push him out of the bed. He was right, but that was twelve years ago. We were kids, well kids who skinnydipped. Embarrased, i pushed him out of my room. I felt my cheeks heat up as I saw Finn standing right outside with a sad look on his face when he saw me in the towel pushing Jack out. He must have heard what Jack said. Not wanting to deal with this right now, I shut the door behind me, tossing myself at the bed frustrated. Kill me now. 

A sudden knock on the door was heard as i shut my macbook down. ´´Yeah´´I said and the door opened shortly after, leaving Finn standing there. ´´Hey´´he said with a hint of sadness in his face. I looked up at him, feeling my heart break. I didn´t want him to be sad. Where was the cheeky Finn? I sat patiently on top of my bed, showing him a gesture to sit down with me. Patiently, waiting for him to say something. I felt the weight change on my bed as he sat down next to me, stumbeling to find his words. I looked at him. His jaw was clenched and i could almost feel what he was going to say. Jack was the problem. it was obvious. To me and to Finn. ´´Look´´I started, but i got cut off by Finn. ´´I get it´´He said. ´´You feel something for Jack too. You don´t have to deny it, I saw the way you looked at him earlier´´His voice trailed off. I knew he wasn´t done talking so i didn´t want to interrupt. ´´It´s ok. I´m used to it by now´´he paused yet again. ´´When Jack comes along, they always pick him´´ I looked at Finn. I wanted so desperaly to tell him he was wrong, that I didn´t feel anything for Jack but i couldn´t. When I didn´t say anything, he just nodded and walked out of the room. I wanted to shout after him so badly, but there was no point of doing that. Love is not like in movies when you shout the persons name and he comes storming back to you, kissing you. No, this was reality and I was the one who screwed up. 

The whole night I layed awake, tossing and turning. I had never felt so bad in my whole life. As I watched their channel on youtube i only got more feelings for them both. Jack being random and funny, and Finn being him cheeky self. I needed to get out of here, the house and get my own flat fast. I couldn´t handle being with them both when that meant hurting the other one. Though i´m pretty sure Jack don´t like me that way. Why do I have so strong feelings for them both when i barely know them. I ended up looking for flats for a few hours in the middle of the night and since it was now morning and appropriate to call now, i did. It was a beautiful cozy flat that i could picture myself living in. I breathed out, relieved that i got the apartment and it was ready for me to move into in just a couple of days. I couldn´t stay here for at least two hours. I know i was a chicken. I hated seeing people hurt and that I was the reason. At least when there was nothing I could do about it. 

´´I´ll see you in a few, thank you. I owe you´´I said as I hung up with Caspar. I felt rude asking, but since he basically was my best friend it wasn´t that rude to ask him. Rebecca was comming home today, so I no longer had to watch Emmy who barely were home anyways. And if not, the twins were here to take care of her. I made sure to call Rebecca and say how thankful i was before I walked downstairs with my suitcases. I couldn´t leave without saying goodbye so i awkwardly walked into the livingroom seeing both of the boys watching tv. Finn looked at me, still hurt before he turned his head back in the direction of the tv. Jack was the only one looking at me and i felt the butterflies dancing in my tummy. ´´I´ll just let you guys know that i´m leaving now. I got my own flat and it will be ready in a couple of days´´I said casually, well i tried to keep my voice steady. Finn looked at me again. ´´Where will you stay until then?´´ he asked like nothing had happened at all. ´´I´ll crash at Caspar and Alfie´s´´I said and Finn nodded. ´´Well it was nice to meet you, Emily. And i hope we can hang out soon´´Jack said, standing up to give me a hug. Please dont, i wanted to scream. ´´Yeah´´I said. I felt my heart beat faster when my body touched Jacks as he gave me a friendly hug. He smelled so good. I looked at Finn who watched it all. I smiled softly at him, knowing that i wouldn´t get a hug from him. 

One day later. 

´´Ems, are you ok? You haven´t been yourself ever since you got here?´´Caspar said worried as he saw a tear streaming down my cheek. Why did i feel this way? I shook my head. ´´It´s nothing i´m fine´´I said, smiling at him. He´d been my best friend since we were born so i knew that he wouldn´t by that lie. After a while him and Affie got me to spill it all out. I felt so guilty. ´´Who do you choose?´´Alfie asked. I knew i needed to choose. I took a deep breath and before I realised it his name left my lips.