"Treat this as a last hurrah.. A last chance.."
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I bolt up from my bed and wake up at exactly 5:30a.m., exactly on the dot as I have done for every single day for the last 5 years. Except today, I don't have to.
Today is the first day after graduation. I tossed and turn on my bed and it finally hits me.
No more school...
No more games...
No more UAAP...
I slumped back in my bed and stared up towards the ceiling as I heaved a sigh.. Of relief? I'm not sure.
While I am happy that I have finally achieved my dreams and finished college, there's also a certain anxiety of leaving behind what has been my comfort zone for the last 5 years. A life I lived for and breathed in, day in and day out, where all my dreams and hopes revolved around every single day.. School.. Volleyball... "Win or lose, it's the school we choose."
But now, it's all over. I get teary eyed as the last championship flashes through my head. A championship, a 2-peat nonetheless, much more than we definitely have hoped for.
With graduation, I leave all those behind, as I embark to my next goal.. Med school. And I leave behind UAAP, the thrill of the games, the glitz and glamor it carries with it; the team, my new found sisters; team besh.. ALYSSA
And Ella. My mind immediately caught up
Yeah right, it taunted again.
WHAT?!? I lashed out.
You miss her
LY? Of course I miss her! She's my besh, my roommate, my partner-in-crime.
Just that?
Waking up alone in this empty bed is weird. knowing that I won't be able to wake up next to her again feels.. I don't know.. Empty?
I was surprised as to the sudden pang I felt in my heart that I had to massage my chest.
Wow, I really do miss my beshies.
Beshies? Pssshhh.. I know it's only Alyssa you're missing.
I miss Ella, but of course, I miss Ly more. There's no Aly without Den, and no Den without Ly... AlyDen remember? Well, that's not really true.. Ly will always be the phenom, the superstar.. And now, i will just be in the rafters along with thousands of her fans. I'll just fade into oblivion..
Oh, by the way, where is he?
Who?
Funny that I mention HER and you automatically think of Alyssa. But him..
Him?
LA?
Oh, I don't know
I turned to my side as I clutched my pillow, forcing myself to go back to sleep.
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For the past 5 years, we've always thought about how we would spend the days after college is over-- endless parties, a real vacation, days sleeping in and just bumming around. But now, just a week of no school, no training, no games, I feel absolutely lost. Like every single day has no direction, no meaning.. Just no plain purpose.
