"Do you mind if I take this?" Ly asked Den.
Den looked up from the bed and stared at Ly who was standing at the door of their bedroom.
Their former bedroom.
Their former home.
One that they shared for the last 3 years.
She remembered the day Ly asked her to move in together a week after winning the championship.
As seniors, they were already done with their final exams, and they just need to pass their last requirements. Since winning their second championship, their life has been a whirlwind of parties, guestings, and other commitments. For Den, it was her last hurrah before she moved on to her new life. For Ly, it meant having to set Den free to reach her new dreams, while she had to stay behind for her last playing year.
Tonight's party was as fun as all the others, except that Ly's head was not into it. Whereas, before, she looked forward to each new day spent with Den, living life, experiencing new things, facing life's challenges together, now, every day moves them closer to the day she dreaded. And, in exactly a week, Den will finally move out from the dorm.
"I hate it every time I need to say goodbye to you at night" Ly pouted like a child as soon as she parked the car in front of Den's house, driving her home from the party.
Den stiffled a laughter as she pulled Ly in an embrace. "You're so cute!" Den cooed as she pinched Ly's cheeks.
"Ouch... Den.." Ly exclaimed, softly removing Den's hands before sitting back upright on the driver's seat. "I'm serious, ok?" She stared up at the ceiling and sighed heavily.
"Ly.. Babe..." Den leaned her head on Ly's shoulder and wrapped her arm around Ly's waist. "We knew this would happen right? Being your roommate for the past 5 years has made waking up next to you the best part of my days. But that's done now. In a few weeks we will graduate, and I have to move out of the dorm. In a few weeks, I'll finally let you go."
"I don't want a new roommate.." Ly kissed the top of Den's head and nuzzled her cheeks against Den's hair.
"Babe..." Den tried to comfort her.
"I can't Den. I don't know how I'll do this. I know we've talked about this several times, but now that it's almost a reality, I realize that I don't know how to do this without you."
Den sat up to hold Ly's face in her hands, and Ly closed her eyes, nuzzling her cheeks in Den's hands.
She nudged Ly's face lightly to urge her to open her yes. "This is us, now facing the real world Ly. No longer hidden by the protected walls of the dorm. No longer walking in the shadows behind the team."
Ly grabbed Den's face and kissed her hard. Parting from the kiss, Den saw the confusion and conflict in Ly's eyes. She softy brushed the hair that fell on Ly's face trying to read her thoughts. "Babe, what's on your mind?"
Taking a deep breath, Ly tried to steady her emotions.
"Let's move in together Den. We can rent a condo between our schools. We'll be together everyday, just like before. You and me, always.." Ly said kissing Den's hands.
"Ly.."
"Babe, we're old enough, we can make our own decisions. We'll start our lives together, we can stand up for our own choices." her tears started flowing.
"Shhshh... shshhh... babe, you're shaking.." Den rubbed Ly's shoulders in an attempt to calm her down
"Den.. please.. Be with me.."
Cupping Ly's face, Den gently kissed. "Is this really what you want?"
Ly couldn't respond with the onslaught of her tears, she merely shook her head. "Please... please.." she kept whispering in between tears.
"When" Den sighed.
"What?" Ly shot up, all baffled with Den's response.
Den smiled and touched Ly's cheeks. "When do we move in? Of course I'd need to tell my parents.."
"thank you.. thank you..." Ly almost screamed as she peppered Den's face with kisses, sending Den laughing. "I love you so much Dennise Michelle Lazaro. You'll never regret this."
Ly was standing in the doorway, not really certain if she was welcome to enter this room.
Taking one step forward, but immediately retracting back out, settling instead to leaning against the door frame.
She tried to speak, but no words could come out of her mouth. She watched Den with her back to her, taking her clothes out of the closet, clearing the contents and placing these into her own boxes.
Ly glanced behind her towards their sala, which is now filled with boxes, neatly labeled and ready to go. Boxes on the left side of the room marked with "Den" while her boxes were lined up on the right side.
She heaved in an attempt to lessen the heavy weight in her shoulders. Shaking her head, wishing she'd wake up from this bad dream.
Except that this wasn't a dream.. and there was no waking up from this reality.
She stared at Den's back and immediately her thoughts were filled with memories of the day they moved in to this place.
They moved in together 2 weeks after graduation. While of course their parents were apprehensive about it at first, they knew that nothing could stop them from this plan. With college all over and them earning their own money, they had all the right to make independent decisions.
Ly chose the condo unit that they will rent as Den was busy preparing for med school.
As soon as Den agreed to move in together, Ly already envisioned the place they would get, how they would decorate their room, the things they would buy to fill up this house. Their home.
Them.
Ly had to clench her fists as she felt a wave of pain.
What happened to them?
3 years ago, they were full of dreams and hopes of a future together. Everything was so uncertain as 2 kids barely out of college desperately tried to cope with real life. The challenges of the real world, this time, on their own. There was no stop button -- no reset, no pause, no rewind.
"Do you mind if I take this?"
Stop. pause. REWIND.
Ly's mind kept screaming at her. She stood frozen, keeping her eyes locked with Den.
Ly held in her hands a musicbox that was a housewarming gift from their teammates.
Other than the small twitch in Den's eyebrows that let Ly know how deep in thought she was, it was as if time has frozen.
Den moved to sit on the edge of the bed, bowing her head into her hands.
"I mean, I wouldn't mind you taking it. That is.. if you want it?"
Ly still hasn't attempted to move. A few meters separated them, but the distance from the walls they built around them create much more distance than reality.
"Den, please talk to me?"
Ly's voice started to break. "Please Den? Please?"
Den lifted her head as she sensed the desperation in Ly's voice. Exhaling, she didn't know how much breath she's been holding in, that she felt her body deflate in surrender. Shoulder's slumped, Den looked like the teenager she once was, and Ly couldn't help the fluttering feeling her stomach as she remembered -- the Dennise she once loved.
Still love.
"Ly, what happened to us?" Den finally spoke, looking up towards Ly.
Ly tilted her head as if asking for permission to come closer. When Den just sighed in resignation, Ly took this as a sign and sat beside Den on the edge of the bed. Careful to keep a small separation, just enough not to push Den away.
"I don't know Den..." Ly trailed off. The pain was too bitter for it to even be spoken.
They couldn't really pinpoint how or when or what started it, until one day they woke up and found out that they have drifted from each other. Somehow, between graduation and 2 years after, life took place.
