stopping fate

part 9: the run (end)

I've been waiting for the sleep to seep through but somehow I doubt it's near. I've been thinking about the mystery of that man I come to admire. He somehow made my whole day a pluzzling game, him, being the goal. The hardest thing, they say, is before they start. But the thing is, I don't know if I'll be the one to start it. If in the first place, knowing him more is far from difficulty. One, I don't know where he lives, or where he goes. Somehow, my on and off belief of fate is struggling now. 

I just want to know him more.

How can I jump in a particular cliff when in the first place, I don't know where  the fuckin' cliff is. Stopping a fate is easier but now knowing it is, makes it complicated. If he'll order again in the cafe,  that would be nice. But, I got the feeling there won't be any case anytime soon. And I am not throwing a special feeling that will depend on how he wanted his favorite burger. I will pick up his burger crumbs, if it's the only way he's in the end of the trail. I want him now, or I mean, I want him tomorrow. I want to know this person. It's not only because I want to know how he knew my name's meaning, but I want to know how will I come up with a lot of questions after that. I want to know what are his answers about everything. Why he carries tulips, hydrageas or, pair of hamburgers even if he's alone when he found me. I want to know what's his opinion about global warming, or even his kind of midnight snack when he find himself alone at night. Or, when he does have a girlfriend. Which is, I am not ready to think at this moment.

---

"Dad??"

I am ready to run my morning trail this time going way longer than before. I need to somehow strengthen whatever in me, because what do you know.. this girl's gotta do what she gotta do. Last night, I came up empty, but that doesn't mean, this new day will be too. 

"Yeah?" Dad's on his room. Maybe he's still sleepy.

"Morning! I am gonna run for a while. Coffee's brewing! You need something you want me to buy?"

"Yeah, honey.. Ahm..I need some eggs and blue cheese." He said, as he opened his bedroom door. HIs bedhair poking.

"Okay,  dad. bye!"

"Take care, A."

I started with a bouncy run peeping at the next door. Sarah is surprising early eating some bread at her footsteps. Waving at her, she smiles and waves her hand holding a little fall leaf.

Taking note of what I'll buy, I decided to run to the train station near the cemetary because the grocery store is on the same way. The sun is still not up, nor the birds. The chill is something I love especially in the morning. My strides started with some careful ones and I decided to let it double and catch up with the time. I am surprisingly not very tired yet when I reach the sidewalk of the cemetary  before I paused to rest a bit just to feel everything around me. Catching my breath and the wind is the best thing after the run, so I take my time scanning the serenity of the surroundings. I thought I saw someone sitting at the far corner of the little area of the deads inside the cemetary. I automatically take note of visiting my grandparents when I'll have the time. Sometimes, I wish death has not been the end of us all. When I was younger, I needed to asked my mom and dad why people die.  Which when growing up, some of them, like my mom, needed to die. The painful memories always fills my thoughts when I am near a cemetary. The next thing I know, I am running faster than I could because I needed the air I can get to not make my mood gloomy and stopping afterwards because I saw someone that fate tells me to see.

Him.

So I run again. Thinking, smiling, thanking fate. He's the guy I peered at the cemetary sitting at the grass looking at a grave with a bouquet on the side. I didn't know why he was there, who he visited, when does he always visits, why he's so composed now, or why he carry a bag worth of a week vacation. I didn't know, I didn't know.. so I did what I wanted to do now.  I run. I run  to him.