stopping fate

part 2: Of girlfriends and walks

The walk to our neighborhood is actually like the other. We manage to be in with each other's side like this for God-knows-how long. We are childhood friends. Ben and Me. Every moment  when he says 'let's go', I'll go. Even if at times I don't want to, times when I know he'll go start his practice for his biking skills or, even times when I don't want to be around books. He's a geek in such sense it doesn't irritate, he's a boy next door-- both literally and figuratively.

His strong build is as beautiful as sunlight as I care to glance at him. The gym sessions really work. His stance might repress such crazy girls out there who is willing to ask his name, but he's still.. Ben. I don't know why he doesn't have any girlfriend until now, or my teaseful speculation of him being a homo is true.. but the thing is.. at least he should let me know if he even have a crush.

But there was none. At least.. for all I know.  His backpack slings loosely at his right arm  now as he turns to me and shyly ask about my day.  I could be really teaseful towards him and he could be really serious over me. But he does this amazing and quite irritable(for me) snap of telling me how will I answer his question. Of course, he have this quirky side too, but the things is, even his jokes does have a meaning. Back in his lousy joke lines, I sometimes thought of reading it beyond 'between the lines'. And I promise you.. it does flutter a bit inside my stomach, and it does quicken a beat in my heart. Which is.. let me go back to my statement that he's questionably single. Questionably not dating. That, this walk is questionably unreasonable when.. he can be with someone strolling the beach next town, hands together and swaying-- you know, making out and all that.

"You're staring." He does his best not be excited at the observation. The moment he turns to look at me and flash that pretty face, I felt a sudden feel of longing. And suspicion. As if he wants it more. 

"And you are handsome!". Haha. Okay, so screw the seriousness. This sunset might be the reason and he does what  best doing now.. being a silhouette of pure beauty. Blue eyes, simple nose and white flashy teeth to die for. But I am not in a mood to play flirt with someone.. with my best friend, with my childhood friend and  neighbor. I know he put all the signs I might get and I don't know why he just does those to me these days. It's like, one day he woke up one morning all red and all. Maybe.. maybe he's blushing awhile ago at the cafe.

Ignoring that I feel the urge of changing the topic. For the benefit of the doubt, for the benefit of me, the universe, the sunset and thank you very much! Hoho. 

"You know what.. tomorrow is Friday! He might be around."

"Ah.. Mr. Tulips" He teased. He knows the story about my crush. We strides again as we close the path towards home.

"Dont' call him like that. It's just triggers the memory of that elaborate floral bouquet in his arms the other time. You think it's for her girlfriend? I said with a little stupid hope.

"Of course, sounds like a very pretty girlfriend is waiting.. with all that metaphors describing the guy.", he tells me with some swaying hands trying to spread the poetic things I said. Which is.. I confirm a little over. 

It saddens me a bit. Of course, he have a girlfriend waiting. Maybe she's waiting in a restaurant, and Mr. tulips(okay.. I'll now call him that) was a bit late and will try to win her apology by buying a bouquet. The lists of situations will go on and on if I can't stop thinking about that one Friday.

"You know what.. in all fairness the guy sounds like a hot bastard.. " 

"hey!"

"No, i'm sorry.. hah! I mean.. a crazy Educated geek who loves your egg sammich and extra iced tea.."

"Yeah.. and you know what, i happened to noticed that too." I paused, contemplating more. "He's like a Hot College boy with a warm personality, mysterious.. that.."

"That.. he easily notices in a glance when a girl is into him and chooses her because his favorite extra blue cheese will double if this girl is the one he approaches."

"NO.. no.. he's not like that.." I defend. Might as well defend him with the troubles of the world?

"And how did you know, miss?

"Because.. every time he smiles at me..I felt a little.. something like.. uhm..."

"Hm?"

"Hm...? I look in all clips and clips replaying on my mind. The warmest of that day, the sudden gush of wind, the mysterious scent of the flowers blooming and the warm blue cheese. I might describe that as an ordinary day but the person makes it extraordinary. That sudden turn, sudden smile.. sudden grip. It tells me that a world in that café makes it beautiful than the outside. The ever presence of that person makes me shiver down my spine.. as if the spring cheated on me. But I just know.. this is a fact: the kindness overlooks. As if he can turn down and forgot his family and jump up to the approaching car just to save a girl who's lost trying to cross the pedestrian, or let's keep it simple: he can give his umbrella and get wet just to save you from getting wet and catching cold. It might be the impossible things to do, and real people might not do it.. but I am for sure, he can do that in a heartbeat. At least to the one he truly loves.

"Hm.. what?" He desperately wanted to know what the feeling it might be but the description hides in my mind. It's unexplainable, it's indescribable and probably a little overwhelming that I can't get it out fully  through words.

"Let's drop it, Ben. We're here."

--to be continued.. <3 vote, comment, stick around..