Countdown (MC)

11 - Vermillion

Vivienne's POV
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(September 1st, 2015)

Days have passed since I came to this conclusion. Days have passed and I've barely left my room because of it. Days have passed and I'm too scared to admit it to anyone else except myself.

**Flashback**
(August 25, 2015)

I still don't know why I did it or why I'm thinking so much about it. If I had to describe my emotions in one word, right now confusion would be the best option.

Last night, before I started dyeing Michael's hair, he winked at me - I'm not so sure why he did it but he did and I've never been more confused about something he's done in my life. But that's not the only reason I've been more on the confusing side than usual. When he winked at me, I blushed...

The past few hours I've been thinking about just those two things, nothing else at all. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out if he was just being playful or if he meant something by it that I'm clueless about. All I've also been looking for a good reason as to why I turned red when my friend winked at me.

I mean, it's not normal for a person to blush because of something their best friend does, right? It is normal for one friend to wink at the other, right? I can't figure out these questions at all. Nothing is making sense to me anymore.

I need to figure out what I'm feeling and what Michael's meaning before I lose my mind.

**End Of Flashback**

And figure out the feelings I have.

Since that day, I've pretty much locked myself up in my room, not coming out unless I absolutely have to - which means to eat. I haven't stopped thinking about my complex emotions at all.

But a couple of days ago was when it hit me. When everything came crashing into my brain. Everything has made sense to me since then, but everything has also been troubling me since then as well.

I've been walking, more like passing, around my room - I still haven't left my room much - as this huge feeling of guilt keeps washing over me every time I think about it. It's like one minute I'll be fine, happy almost, as I think about it, or him, but then within the next second I'll feel horrible like I have just caused a huge burden on everyone around me.

I need to tell somebody. I need another person to know this information and to help me. I want the help and I need help, but I've barely had time to come to the conclusion with myself. If I'm only now letting myself realize this, how will I be able to tell someone when I'm still not very accepting of the idea?

I'm going to have to do it though. I can't just mope around my room when I know one person I can trust with this type of thing - other than the person it's about of course. My mother.

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"Mom?" I called out once I got to the end of the hallway. "Are you home?"

"I'm in the kitchen!" She answered me, her voice echoing around the house. I went to where she said she was, easily finding her doing dishes at the sink.

"I need to talk to you about something serious." My words barely audible, and my voice was wavering because of how nervous I was to tell her about what's been giving me a headache for the past couple of days.