Mistakes

One normal dream=One not so normal day

I asked my friend to ask Honey some things she like so I could get it for her as addition to the gifts.

And I'm gonna try to accomplish it,
.....But, Did I?....

(Correct me if I'm wrong)
Turns out, her big dream as a B-DAY gift is a greet and meet with her favorite author, but who is he/she? And how do I convince him/her to meet us?
And what if he/she said no? That means I just made her dream about it more and it might hurt her if she knew
Well;"Sometimes it's better if you don't ask her because she might make your work harder or worse, she might break your heart"

....But then....
"The biggest risk is not taking any.:
Why does this quote exist?

One day later
I woke up early cuz I wasn't sleeping comfortably but still, atleast I dreamt about her, Honey and me were with some friends on an outing, we were in a forest, camping, and some relaxing in my cousin's friend's RV that we borrowed for a whole week so we can still travel when we're done camping.
Nothing special everything was normal, we bought souvenirs for our family and some even made new friends, like I said Everything was normal, nothing special.

The Day at school
It was different from my dream nothing was normal except The 3 Kings of sarcastic, and unamusing jokes, they were still being @$$ H0l35.
Kill was still "corny" nothing else.
Me, I became pissed off cuz my sir insulted my friends, no-one can ever mess with my friends, especially the girls, and he even messed with Honey's hair, he played with it and insulted it's color actually her hair is unique, she is unique, actually she stands-out, out of all the girls in the school she is the most unique, if I wasn't in-love with someone else I would choose Honey over anyone,

" Every girl I loved has been put behind a barrier to keep me from loving them ever again, but some of them are the ones I've already left in the past"

But seriously, any girl that I've left in my past will be forced to be forgotten,
at school Mizpah visited her friends
and they all teased me but they don't know they're just hurting theirselves

' What's done is done, and everything you've done cannot be erased, especially your "Mistakes" '

And when our sir said that me and Honey were just friends I thought about the message I sent to her:

I promised to god when I was a kid that all my promises were made to be kept and that I won't let them break. The reason why I said I wanted to protect you cuz I like you. Pls accept my apology and don't ignore me anymore its hard not talking to you. You are the spark in my life, you make my life full, you fill up the emptiness I feel, you always used to complete my days. Without you I'm nothing but a simple boy who feels incomplete. Pls don't be like my first crush she left me, but next year I'm gonna transfer to another school but I'm not leaving you cuz I will always remember you, and I wont forget you.

"I'm sorry but we can only be friends cuz I'm not like Kill, I'm not a heart-breaker, I am really sorry."
Honey replied

Maybe she did the right thing, maybe she did this for me, maybe it's for the best...

Maybe I would find someone better than her, but who, and how?

One day later
It was the awarding of the Honors
Honey was there to but before she went down to the hall she borrowed my phone so she can read the prevoius part of this story, but when she starts snooping around I noticed her and tried to stop her, but I accidentally held both her hands and we almost fell together on the ground.

One Day Later
Last night I dreamt about me and some of my friends at school. I dreamt that me and my girl-best-friend were chatting and her body was getting closer to my body resulting in; us holding hands, hugging, and almost kissing, that's right, I said Kissing.

Then Honey walks by and talks to me she began holding my hand hugging me, and the other girl just walks away, me and honey left, we were chatting I was explaining that it was not on purpose and I didn't start it. And then I tried to ask her why came to me a few second she said asked me:

"Didn't you want me to save you?"
She said
"Do you like getting kissed?"

"Yes and yes but not by her, never ever." I said

Then when we got to the floor where our classroom is, I turned around facing my back on Honey, then when I turned around again she pushed me to the wall and kissed me for five seconds, and I tried to resist she just won't let me go, when she stopped she said;

"What ? I thought you like getting kissed." She said while looking at my frightened face.

"Yes, but why did YOU kiss ME?"
I said

"B-B-Because... because I..... "
She said while she was shaking.

But when she starts talking, it was too late I started to wake up.
When I woke up, I thought about the dream and asked myself :

"Why didn't I finish that dream?"
"Is the dream really like that? Will it continue?"

Summer before School
I spent most of my summer vacation at home making letters for Mizpah, but when i imagined how to do it I think abut me and Honey, chatting, everytime I tried I always think me and Honey together.

Then I started to go crazy about Honey, but I didn't know if she would like me so I shut my freaking mouth about what I feel for her, everytime I talk to her I always think;
"Don't waste your chance, say it to her now!"
But I just can't do it, that's why;

"Never let fear get a hold of you, control your fear so it can't control you."

Present time
Every weekend I worry about her getting hurt, feeling down or worse.
I just don't know why I can't forget her, it's just too damn frightening for me to think that she is in a bad situation, and everytome I think about her like that I say to myself;

"Why do I still think about her like that? I already decided and agreed with her to be friends."