Mistakes

DECISIONS NEED TO BE MADE

Eversince I met Honey she became my inspiration, but when I knew who she really loves, my heart shattered into a billion pieces like fine sand/salt or whatever. And then one day, this girl, this beautiful girl saw me and asked my name, I was too shy and just handed over my ID, and she was cute by the way.

The way she talked, the way she moved, is so captivating and overwhelming and it still does it to me whenever I look at her picture. And every day I always hope that she will be right there ready to see me, around every corner of the street, always being one more heartbeat closer to me, whenever I think of her I always see her face smiling and laughing. Sometimes I just wonder when we are going to meet and where cuz I wanna see her beautiful face and that eye-catching smile.

Every night I always dream about the time we saw each other I was so inspired that day my body couldn't handle it when we came back to out seats I danced uncontrollably and my classmates looked happy when they saw me, and at that moment I thought ;

"She must be the one, the key to overcoming my attitude of being shy in a crowd the key that could unlock my heart and let all my fears, anger, rage, and negative emotions go away."

And one day she messaged me, and so the problem started

Crystel asked me;
" Do you still love Honey?"

"No, remember I made a promise to you that I won't love any girl except you"
I said while I was thinking if I should keep this going.

And I over-reacted, I thought she wouldn't talk to me for a week or even for years!!!
I sent so much apologies and a picture.

Then she explained why she didn't reply.
After that, she said that; first I should know what is happening before I start to take action because she knows for the fact that;
" Sometimes you gotta know the situation before you take action because if you don't, the consequences may be worse than the problem itself."

Field Trip
It was our school field trip I saw Honey and his mother and cousin. I didn't know where to sit so I just sat where ever I wanted to then my grade 4 math teacher came and told me that my seat was just beside the seat I sat in. Later after that when we came to our first destination I saw them, Honey's cousin came to me ,we stuck together until we came back to the bus when we arrived at the amusement park we came through the entrance and discussed what we were gonna do then we rode some rides, we got wet over and over again and we rode the roller coaster
when we got off of the roller coaster Honey borrowed my phone to take a selfie I didn't smile beacuae of the picture I smiled because I felt it again, the chill went down my spine, it was "kilig" again, I felt it like it was the first that time I was inlove and it was like I forgot about Crystel completely. After that we changed clothes and I bought an animal bonnet for Honey, a husky bonnet. Honey's mother was telling me stories about Honey's brothers protecting her from other boys that had a crush on Honey.

And I thought that; "Should I love Crystel or Honey? Why do I ALWAYS do this?
How do I stop it? Who should I be with?"

It's so frustrating I just wanna go back home to my mom's house when our
sem-break starts. So I can just rest and play when ever I want to and because I need space to think, to choose, and to forget.

Maybe I should, maybe Honey is worth the while, and go by Honey's favourite line that; "Past is past"

Cuz I got Crystel so easily, and maybe this proves; "Easy come, easy go"

Should I fight for Honey or should I just go with the one who loves me more than I love her? And;
"I don't want to do things that I don't love cuz it makes me insecure and desperate"