Of Turtles and Lizards

Confession

Today. I was going to do it today.

I had asked Leo to take the guys out on patrol a little earlier than usual and we staged an argument so that my staying behind wouldn't look suspicious. Mona Lisa was still forbidden from going topside, at least until we figured out what the Foot wanted her for. Master Splinter was in the dojo meditating. I had told him of my intentions and he had wished me luck. I'm so nervous. What if she says no? What if she doesn't return my feelings? But I know that she does, but this is different. I'm gonna tell her that I love her. Mona likes me but what if she doesn't...love me? Maybe she just wants to stick with the girlfriend-boyfriend type thing for a while. Am I going too fast?! No, no, hang in there, Raphael. Don't lose your cool. You'll be fine. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

I went to Mona's room and reached out to knock. Oh lord...my hands are shaking. Finally I managed to rap quietly on the door with my knuckles and I heard someone inside getting up to open it.

Mona Lisa opened the door, her wavy brown hair cascading down her shoulders, her chocolate colored eyes gleaming. "Hey Raph."

"Hey, um I mean, hi." Gee that sounded stupid. I fought the urge to face-palm. "I-uh, I...Come with me!" I dragged her out of the doorway by the wrist and led her down the hall into the main room. I let it go and motioned for her to sit down on the couch.

She did, eyeing me warily, as she slowly lowered herself onto the couch. I plopped down beside her, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees.

"Raph, are you okay?" she leaned over as well so she could look me in the eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I wanted to tell her so badly but the words were stuck in my throat. "Well, actually-" I began and she turned towards me. I swallowed hard in nervousness. "Mona, there's something I want to say." She stared at me expectantly and I took her hand in mine. "Mona Lisa, I lo—"

And then...my. Phone. Rang. Are you f***ing kidding me?!

Mona glanced down at the t-phone on my belt, then back up at me. A slightly smug yet questioning grin spreading across her face, the lizard mutant looked up at me. "You gonna get that?"

I growled, releasing her hand and pulling out my t-phone. "Yeah?"

"Raph! We're in an old abandoned warehouse on Eleventh and Bleaker. The Foot are running some kind of massive attack plan. We need you down here now."

"But—"

"No time to argue, just get down here!" I closed my eyes briefly and frowned. "And Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. You know if I could have had it any other way..."

"Whatever." I snapped at him. "Be there in ten."

I sighed dejectedly, unconsciously dropping my shoulders. Mona's smirking expression melted into one of seriousness. "Look, I can hear whatever it is you want to say when you get back, okay?" She put a hand on my shoulder, but I shook it off gently as I slipped my sais into my belt.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I said dejectedly as I sullenly left the lair with every intention of murdering my older brother. Well...not really. But I was definitely going to beat the crap out of him anyway. He said he was going to help me. Not interrupt my best chance. It was hard enough just working up the guts to say it in the first place. Now I have to go through all that again. I sighed. Leo and Sensei would say that all things happen for a reason, and it makes sense most of the time, but I can't see any reasoning behind this one.

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Mona's POV

I stared at Raphael's back questioningly as he dragged me down the hallway towards the main room. I don't really know what he has planned but...oh well. Looks like I'm going anyway. I was startled when he released my wrist and had me sit down. I saw a blank expression in his eyes that made me nervous. What is he doing? "Raph, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Well, actually-" I turned to stare him right in the face and he looked even more nervous. "Mona, there's something I want to say."

I swear for a moment my heart stopped. Please, please don't kick me out! Please don't make me leave! I want to stay here with you! Surely Raphael would never hurt me like that, would he? My chest filled with fear for a moment as I awaited his next words.

"Mona Lisa, I lo—" My eyes widened. Then Raphael's phone rang, thankfully putting an end to the tension. I concealed my internal panic masterfully, smirking at him and telling him to answer it.

As soon as he answered it I went into a frenzy. My heart was racing, fear, anxiousness and tension making my chest tighten. Was Raphael about to say...he loved me? Me?

Do I love him? I considered that thought for a moment and all the memories came flooding back: Raphael holding me close, Raphael never leaving my side staying faithfully with me, Raphael kissing me, Raphael comforting me in the middle of the night, Raphael sacrificing himself. A tear rolled down my cheek, thankfully Raph didn't notice.

I love him. Oh dear god help me, I love him. Strong, sweet, handsome, loving, soft-hearted Raphael, my hot-headed boyfriend. My love.

I love you Raphael. I thought to myself as I watched him end the call and return his focus to me. His shoulders drooped and I put a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I can hear whatever it is you want to say when you get back, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He muttered as he left the lair grumpily.

I watched him go and just as the door was about to close I whispered, "Be safe."