★ Paranoia

Chapter 60

The base had grown silent long ago, but still, they remained hidden.

Mikey saw no point in risking going out, anyways. What was waiting for him out there that he so badly wanted to get to? Nothing. Banana Kid was recovering from torture; a torture that he'd been left to suffer because of what Mikey interpreted as his own lack of going out to search for him. He assumed immediately that Banana Kid had been killed, meanwhile, the banana hybrid had been suffering, and for that, Mikey infinitely blamed himself.

Meanwhile, in Mikey's mind, Carrie hated him, and now, the entire rest of the base wanted him dead and would kill him on sight. In reality, the citizens' sights weren't set on Mikey at all, but the turtle had no idea. He was left to his own paranoid devices, sitting side-by-side with JJ in the cramped, tiny space they'd fled into hours ago.

He thought long and hard, and for a while, his thinking was specifically about the leader's murderous shift. Mikey knew he'd been bitter and angry from the start, but initially, "threatening" hadn't been a word Mikey would use to describe him at all. He seemed eager to have power and respect, but what did that stem from? Something he lacked in his childhood? A traumatic experience? Or maybe it was the reality of the situation closing in on him; killer clowns were everywhere, the world was destroyed, and nobody in B1 would likely be able to go home ever again. Perhaps it gradually drove him mad, and his threats of murder came from a place where he wasn't thinking as himself. Would he had ever really done the things he threatened to do? Mikey wasn't sure. He remembered the way the leader's eyes looked as he'd stared the hybrid down and threatened to kill him and JJ - they'd seemed irrational, and maybe Mikey was imagining it, but it'd almost looked afraid, too. Maybe he had a fear of being looked down upon by others, which left him desperate to prove to everyone that he could assert his power, no matter what it took to do it.

Mikey didn't know why he was looking so deeply into this, when the leader had been someone who'd openly despised him from the very beginning. He'd made the initial assumption that Mikey was transgender based on his voice, and his hatred for Mikey stemmed from that. What had happened to him to cause him to be so hateful?

He would never know now.

Despite who the leader had been, Mikey still wanted to know. He believed that everyone had their own story; one that was worth listening to, and a one that could explain the drive behind their thoughts and actions. And that maybe, just maybe, with the right environment and support, Mikey believed anyone could change for the better, and that they should always get a second chance. Mikey had always had that faithful innocence to him, and it seemed that no matter what experiences he went through, it couldn't be shaken.

Mikey suddenly felt something soft brush against his neck and shoulder, followed by a warm weight. JJ was laying his head on Mikey's shoulder. Mikey didn't react to it, continuing to stare off.

"How did you think to come here?" JJ asked.

"I've been here before." Mikey answered quietly.

"What reason would you have to do that?"

"I used the machine."

"For...?"

"For c-cremating."

JJ's jaw tightened as he looked around. In the darkness and urgency of the previous situation, he didn't think to observe where he was, but now he understood why there were smooth, wooden boxes stacked all along the walls, and upon closer look, one could see names and dates engraved into them.

"I don't understand." JJ said. "Who would you need to cremate? Your stupid pest friends are all alive."

"And one of them is gone, and I don't have the chance to go and look for him anymore." JJ thought, his mind starting to buzz.