Cant Hold On Much Longer

~7~

You know when you are on a rollercoaster and you are at the top and it all seems okay before you plummet to what feels like your death? I was there. I was waiting for the push that would make everything go downhill. It had started going badly when mum had decided to come back, thankfully though with no boyfriend. I had managed to survive the first two nights with her but then I packed up and went to Cole's and May's. They had let me stay, but Cole seemed to have been distant with me. I wasn't the only one to notice though as the other guys noticed. May had tried to talk to him about it but he had brushed her off and instead went out. The next day I had been sent an anonymous text and there was a picture of Cole and another girl practically having sex on a table in the club. I deleted it and just ignored it, pretending it wasn't real. I then moved back into my house and Jenny was gone. It was around the time her brother had died. He had been a street fighter and had been in a gang. When she found out she tried so goddamn hard to get him out and when he saw she was right he tried to get out aswell. He had ended up being killed, because once you join a gang there is only one way you can leave. When Jenny found out about my street fighting she told me about her brother and put up a hell of a fight to try and make me stop.

The thing that had been the last button before I went down the rollercoaster was when I had phoned Cole and a girl had answered. I had sat on my bed for hours feeling numb. He had promised he would be there for me. He had said he wouldn't hurt me. Yet here he was sleeping with other girls. I got up got and got a pen and paper. I wrote a note to Cole.

To Cole,

You promised you wouldn't hurt me but you had. I shouldn't be surprised because I am broken. I'm a broken girl you tried to fix but like few people before you, you learned I couldn't be. I was like glass that had been shattered. You where what stopped me last time but I should've let go.

I didn't finish it. I couldn't. I then went into my ensuit and started to run a bath. I put the water on cold and watched as the bath filled. When it was near overflowing I turned of the water and grabbed my razor. I closed my eyes as I used it to cut deep jagged lines and then I slipt into into the bath fully clothed. I lay down took one last breath before I went under. I went under and closed my eyes awaiting death. I waited but it never came. Instead it was strong arms that had lifted me up and pulled me out of the bath. I wanted to gasp and breath, I wanted to wrestle and get back in the bath but my mind wasn't working. Someone held my arms raised slightly, as if trying to stop the blood running.

"Breath. God damit Cat. Breath." Someone faintly whispered. I then felt warm hands on my chest and the pressure of it being pushed down fast and repeatedly. There was a stop and someone breathed into my mouth. They then stated to push down again. This went on for three minutes. After three minutes I remember sitting up and coughing. I gasped for air, my body craved it. Warm arms where wrapped around my body and gently stroking back. I cried so damn hard. "Shh Cat. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Cole whispered over and over again. He then lifted me up and moved out of the ensuit. We went into my bedroom and May appeared with a first aid kit. She didn't say anything but took one of the wrists and gently started to wrap it up in a bandage before doing the same with the other. All the while I just sat on Cole's lap and cried in his arms. When May finished looked me in the eyes,

"Please don't ever do that again." She whispers before joining the hug. I remember falling asleep, and when I awoke I was lying on my bed with two bodies beside me.

"How did you get to me?" I whisper. My voice hoarse. There is a minutes silence.

"After you had phoned Cole he tried to phone you back but you wouldn't answer, so he phoned your home phone and Poppy answered. She said that she was worried because you hadn't come out your room in ages and that you where quiet. Immediately Cole came to me and we rushed over. In good time aswell. You are my best friend Cat... And although Cole may have been an ass and that your mother is a bitch and Jenny isn't here, doesn't mean people still don't care and love you. When I saw your pale face... I nearly ran out because I was so worried." She chokes out the end giving me a hug. At first I do nothing but slowly I pull her in. When May stops crying she gets up and leaves.

"Just here me out." Cole whisperes breaking the peaceful silence between us. "I got a message from a rival gang saying that they would kill you if I didn't leave you alone. I didn't know the best way to deal with it and so I thought if you caught me cheating you would just leave. I never wanted it to come to this." He explains.

"Get out." I whisper.