Cant Hold On Much Longer

1.

Life is a lie. The world is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. No one cares they just act like they do. It is like the world made us and gave us happy memories before taking them away from us to feed of them. Like life cannot survive without the happy memories and so they must be taken away from the ones who have them... Make them feel pain.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I hear a very faint sound in the distance and slowly I peel my eyes open. A blinding bright white fills my eyes, I blink a few times letting my eyes adjust to the light. When they do I notice I'm in a hospital chair in the waiting room. How did I get here? I wonder. I don't remember coming here. I try to think back to what happened. Blank. Nothing. Suddenly the door to the hospital opens and doctors and nurses rush around.

"We have teenage female coming through. Three cracked ribs, four broken. A collapsed lung, three gun shot wounds, one with an exit wound and the other two bullets taken out during the ride. A broken leg and sprained wrist, also deep gash down the side of other leg. Was in a car accident that exploded, and has concussion. Still breathing, but unconscious." One of the nurses shouts. I try to get a look at the person.

"What's the name of this girl?" Another nurse asks.

"Catyln Matthews" someone says. I stop. That is my name. I see one of the nurses move out the way and there I see myself with scratches everywhere, my clothes are practically falling to pieces, but I can't bare to look as there is so much blood.

"What's going on here?" I ask a nurse. She doesn't answer me and I start to freak out. "Please someone tell me? Am I dead? Is that why I am here?" I start asking the nurses.

"We have a second one involved in the car accident!" Someone else shouts and a few people rush over. I follow them and I see him. His face covered in burns, his skin deathly pale.

"Two broken ribs and internal bleeding as well as a lot of burns." Someone says. I hear the sound of wheels moving from where I am and see I'm being wheeled off to somewhere. I look down at Cole and give a quick kiss on his forehead.

"Your going to be fine. I love you." I say as if it is a good bye, because it feels like it as I'm sure I am meant to go with me so I can die. I run after myself and the doctors, but look back and I see them. May, Elliot and Karl. They look distressed but they see Cole and rush over to him. I turn around the corner and they dissapear out of sight.

"We need some O- blood please! I want two bags on hold and two now." A surgeon says. I notice that we are now in surgery. I watch as the open up part of my body and run a tube down it. There is also three tubes that are connected to my mouth and run down my throat. I see that they are stitching me up in some places and they are pumping air into one of the tubes.

"Someone get a scaple please!"

"We are losing blood!"

"Heart rate decreasing!" I hear shouts but I just watch as they try to get my body back together. It is weird to think that this time just over a year I would've have wanted to die. Now I'm not sure. I want to stay with my friends and to love Cole, but the pain of what I did is too much to bear.

"She made it through!" A nurse whispers and sighs in relief. I frown. I shouldn't have made it. I should've died. I look over to myself, I find it hard to recognize me, but I know that it is. My skin is pale, scratches covering my face. My eyes are closed as if I am sleeping yet one of them has the start of a bruise forming around it. My clothes are gone replaced by a hospital gown. My body looks somehow similar but is covered in dried blood, and scars and bruises already forming. My leg is still bent at and odd angle, but I watch as they quickly make a cast for it. I should've died. I look up at a nurse, she looks kind and caring with her blonde hair wrapped in a bun under her hat. It is like she is looking at me, before snapping her eyes to the other me.

"Honey... This is up to you now. You have to fight to stay, we will help you as much as you can, but it is mainly up to you whether you stay or whether you go." She tells me.

"What do you mean?" I ask. Of course she doesn't reply, instead she strokes my cheek.

"I want this girl to be cleaned before taken to ICU!" The kind nurse says. There are a lot of agreements. The nurse looks at me again.

"Am I going to die?" I ask, but she just walks off. Sadness washes over me and I walk to the side of me and see myself. "What are we gonna do? You can't help me and I can't help you. It looks like we are stuck here." I reach out to touch her face to remove the hair in her eyes. As soon as I touch her I feel more alive. I feel more me. I move my hand away quickly and look around to see if anyone else noticed anything.