Josh was everything to me. I was fully willing to give my soul to him, I would've died for him had it come to that. I swear on everything I got inside I was so madly in love with this guy, my head spun when he was around and the only place I was okay again was in his arms. It started when he was in my gym and lunch hour. I gave him a hard time at first, I mean what else do you do to mess with the kids a grade above you? He was absolutely terrifying at first, tall and a wide build, with a deep voice that sliced through the air wherever you went. And I guess I kind of fell in love with another kind of fear that I found in him, the way he was rough around the edges. Maybe it was that, maybe not. But I sure as hell fell for something.
I started texting him alot, after he took my phone at lunch and put his number in, and then he started leaving notes on my lock screen telling me to have a good day and alot of other stuff. I'd find it later, and I'd melt and think about him. I was distracted by the thought of him, he was something that killed me inside to go without. He was everything to me. We started exchanging songs to listen to ( he didnt quite care for metal like I did so it was mostly him giving me songs ) and I'll just mention now that every time I listen to any of those songs I break all over again inside. It's painful, but the memories are like some kind of drug I guess, it hurts but its a way to feel like you're there again. I was kind of sad before, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months for him. We never got together.
