Insanity: Sacred Truth

Chapter 12

A month. That is how long I have been in this hospital. They don't trust me to go home. Do I even have a home anymore? 

My 'parents' and my 'aunt' Monroe haven't visited me since the day I first woke up. I found that odd. Very odd. But, I try not to think about it. It isn't like they are my real family. Maybe they are, maybe they are not. I can never tell anymore. Everything is just a mess. A confusing mess.

Day by day, I was observed, probed, analyzed, charted. I was treated as if I was an experiment that would answer all the mysterious questions in the world. Different therapists came in everyday and asked the same basic questions. The questions that aim to rip me open and expose my inside self to the world. Only to be used to their benefit.

Everyone is doing everything to their benefit. What was my 'parents' ' benefit to all this? Were they just getting a child out of it? Or was it more?

Allowing me to escape from my path of thinking, Dr. Shaw walked into the room with his same clipboard and pen.

"Well Samantha, I actually have some great news. Your wounds are recovering well and you've been making great progress so far. The only problem standing in our way is your mental recover and the psychological issues that you have been dealing with. We need to take careful steps with dealing with this even if it means..."

"Being placed in a mental facility." I knew the answer. It is always the same answer. The answer to seemingly all problems with being seen as a 'special case'. A case of being someone who is unable to be understood using medication and lab reports.

"But you have to realize Samantha. That is a way for you to get better. They have very special treatments that would work well with limiting the night terrors you have and the hallucinations that occur for you. It would be the start to something new."

I just shook my head. I refused to show how much that impacted me. Something new they say. That is what they always say. Treatment would guarantee a restart. There is nothing in my life I want to restart to. It is all a lie.

Dr. Shaw muttered something under his breath and then quickly exited the room. I laid limply on the bed. The emotions that have been bottled inside me were scratching at my exterior. Threatening to spill over but I held them in. I didn't want to give them any more ideas or hypotheses of what was wrong with me or what to do with me. I didn't have any more energy for more tests.

My body felt as though it was being weighed down. I felt so tired. So weak. My eyes felt heavy. Sleep carried me away from reality.

As my eyes reopened, I was in the middle of a lawn. In front of me was an old Victorian home. The exterior of the place was chipping and molding away. Barely holding on the its once never ending beauty.  Why did this have to happen now? What such reason?

I heard the sound of a branch snap to the right of me which made me turn. There was a woman walking with a hospital gown, she had a candle in her hands and a liquid dripped from between her legs. She was pregnant. I could hear her ragged breathing as she began to rush up the steps and into the home. 

Something told me. Something called me. I walked forward towards the home. I felt as though I was walking on air. As I entered the foyer of the room, the woman was sitting on the steps, she was breathing deeply, her hair covered her face. 

Shutters left her as her body repeated left her. Screams left her lips as she began to push. She held her hand between her legs, grabbing the baby. Screams grew louder as she kept going. I covered my ears as the screams ate into them. It felt as though knives were being driven into them, twisting and turning rapidly.

Eventually silence, baby in her arms wailing, her breathing evened out. The woman placed the naked baby on the step and stood. The woman bit into her wrist and sprinkled her blood onto the baby. Her hair blew back with the cold air in the room....

It was her. 

Mutters left her lips rapidly. The baby's wails grew louder. Just then, doctors rushed into the room with security behind them.

"Now Catherine, is that anyway to treat your daughter." It was the other nurse who stepped forward. A male doctor stepped with her

"Mam, leave me be. I have to do this. You don't understand. I have to. It is the only way to destroy this child. She shouldn't live." Catherine grabbed the child and faced the doctors. A smile graced her face as if she thought they understood her.

"She is just a child. What you are doing is unacceptable and unorthodox. Such a shame and a waste." The other nurse stepped up at the same time the male doctor ran forward and dug a needle into the arm of Catherine.

"Please... you don't understand. It must happen..."Catherine began to fall with the baby in her arms. The other nurse grabbed the baby before Catherine hit the floor.

"Don't you worry. You will live with this burden."

Catherine was on the floor trying to fight the medication. She crawled towards the other nurse. The look of hatred in her eyes was something fierce as she tried to reach for the baby.

The other nurse kicked Catherine in the face.

"You are to be punished for your doings. As a patient, we never would give up on you. We will see that you are suited and dealt with until you learn to be normal." The other nurse exited the home with the wailing baby as Catherine was gathered up in a stretcher and wheeled out.

The room changed then. I was in a room. It was the same room at the institution that I was in. Huddled in the corner, Catherine was in a straight jacket rocking back and forward. 

"She must come back. She has to. She needs to release this burden. It hurts. It hurts. Please. She needs to. She has to."

Two male doctors entered the room with a tray with at least 5 needles. Each one of them had a different length and had a different color substance. Without taking heed to her pleas, they pierced her skin with the needles one after the other. 

Once the two doctors left the room, Catherine fell to the floor. Tears fell down her face but she had a blank expression on her face. She shook her head as she slowly got up. She began to twist and turn. She banged herself against the wall behind her. The straps on the jacket tore. The sound traveling through the air sent shivers down your spine.

She tore through her restraints, rising to her feet. Walking slowly over to the bed, Catherine seemed to be in a daze. Reaching under the bed, she grabbed a small radio and proceeded to walk to the bathroom.

I stood next to the door of the room. I could hear the water running, but do I dare walk into the bathroom. The things that have been forced into my reality.

"Come my dear. I know you want to." She yelled from the bathroom. I couldn't move. I was frozen. My body was controlled by fear. I hyperventilated. My legs began to move on their own. I felt as if I was floating.

She was sitting in the tub. She had her knees hugged to her chest and the radio plugged in, sitting on the side of the tub.

"You just had to be born. You just had to. You were a mistake. You caused me such pain and grief. They didn't want you. No they didn't. You weren't needed. It was just us. You were a distraction. You were going to be a distraction from our time together. How dare you? How dare you..." Tears ran down her face as sobs left her lips. Screams left her lungs. Piercing the air. I turned away from her. "This is all your fault..."

As I faced the wall, I heard the shocks hit her. I felt through the floor, her body writhe in pain. I saw the flashes. It was all too much. The silence that came to me was overbearing.

My vision was cut off. I was left in darkness once more.