Hazel Eyes |Ashton Irwin Dark|

Chapter 38 [Ashton]

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Being away from her was hell. I know she knows that I had been avoiding her all week, I can feel it. But in order for this to work, she can't know it about it.

I felt her stir in my arms and looked down to see her still asleep. Her eyebrows furrowed closer together showing she was having a nightmare.

She was wearing my hoodie which was two sizes too big for her and was falling off her shoulder, revealing the numerous amount of bruises and bite marks.

I don't understand why their bites haven't faded completely yet. Even mine that was created just a few hours ago has already disappeared. So why hasn't theirs? It's like a constant and painful reminder every day of how much I failed her. She doesn't blame me but I sure as hell do.

My hand barely grazes over the white and somewhat purplish marks on her collar bone, the ugly imperfection on her beautiful skin. Yet she is still beautiful. She will always be beautiful.

I feel guilty for drinking from her after what they've done. But she made it almost impossible to say no, and as soon as her blood hit my tongue I felt a million times better than I ever have. And I hate it.

I hate how her blood drives me mad. It's a taste like non-other. It's like the emotional connection we have with each other intensifies the taste in every blood cell. Before it was sweet and light. Now...it's like a pure and rich taste, that just explodes in my mouth and sends a jolt of pleasure throughout every fiber in my body. Whether it's sweet or rich, it's so fucking good and I hate the power it has over me. Because my fear...my most dreaded fear of all...is that I won't be able to control myself. That I won't stop....that my carnal desire for blood will overcome any right sense I have, and just succumb my body into the darkness I know very well lurks within me.

I'm not within you, Ashton. I am you. I am the same as I was a hundred years ago, and I've never left. That blood thirsty killer is still here and you know it'll only take time before I consume you. You can't save her. You can't protect her from yourself.

Shut up.

I hear his snickering laugh and I quickly but carefully get out of the bed, rushing to the bathroom.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

I can protect her. I can. I can, and I will.

After splashing water in my face I grip the edge of the sink, breathing in and out to control my mind.

Looking up I see him behind me, his skin as gray as ash, this hair like fresh black ink, those cold, dead eyes staring back at me, the sinister smile mocking me.

I turn around, wishing he'd be gone but he's still there. Staring right back at me, with the same face as I have.

I rub my eyes, pressing the ends of my palm against my sockets, "Go away."

"I've already told you, Ash. I can't go away. I'm you and you're me. We are one and you can't change that."

"I don't want you here."

"But I want to stay."

I groan and push past him, entering back into the room where my angel was sleeping.

I stare at her longingly, wishing her only the safest, and happiest life.

"If that's what you want for her, then you can't be apart of it."

My fists clench and I feel my nails dig in to my skin, "And why the hell not?"

"Because. I'm you, and that's all the reason for you to leave her. She can't be happy with you."