Hazel Eyes |Ashton Irwin Dark|

Chapter 34 [Ashton]

It was getting dark, I stayed outside hearing them all laugh and catch up on everything. I contemplated on just getting up and leave, but I need Evan who can help me find her. But I can smell her. I smell her all around this place, that alone is making me heart race faster. Her sweet, and relaxing scent, filling in my senses as my body became calm and relieved.

But I could also smell him. His disgusting scent that smelled like decaying flesh and rotten blood. It caused me to spit on the ground, it was so strong it was as if I could taste it. God I was starving.

My mouth has been dry for the past two days, my stomach growling every five minutes. It's a constant reminder of how long I've been without her. Of how badly I fucked up. It's a reminder of how bad I failed her. How I couldn't save her.

I grip the roots of my hair, leaning my elbows on my knees. I don't care. I'm not drinking from her. From anyone. I can survive a few months without anything. I'll be weak, but I don't care. I will never be the one that triggers whatever they've done to her.

Images of her flashed through my mind. I imagined her bruised, bite marks decorating every inch of her pale skin. I see the bright blue in her eyes, fade away into a dark and endless grey. Evidence of her ever being alive, slowing dissapears, as she lays there. Ian taking her in his arms, her body moving robotically as he controls her dead corpse. The sinister grin on his face while he....

I stand up quickly, nearly losing my balance. I can't think of that. I can't let him win. I will find her, and if she's broken, I will fix her. I will hold her so tight, the broken pieces of her heart will heal back. I will kiss away every scar that stays, I will fight away every nightmare that decides to visit. I will protect her.

Yeah right. You said that last time, look where we are.

"Shut up," I mutter under my breathe, placing my hands over my face.

You know I'm right. I'm always right. This was just a thing, Ash. It will pass like everything else does. She's just another girl that passes through your life. Once you see her dead, your heart will stop. and you will continue on to be the heartless murderer that you really are.

"Stop," I whimper, "I haven't killed anybody."

I hear the voice laugh, Yet. When's the last time you've actually killed someone? Other than Lucifer of course. When's the last time you killed....for fun? When you felt their pulse under the hot flesh, slowly give out. When their bloody screams finally died out. When you saw the last light they held in their human eyes, fade away with their last breathe?

Or do you remember the more...graphic ones? Where you would tear them apart, bite a huge gash of their neck out, and watch as the delicious red liquid pours out of them, like some fountain.

"Stop!" I grip my head, falling over on my side. My heart beats faster and I hear him laughing at me. Leaving me with haunted past. With the memories that gave me nightmares.

"I didn't kill her," I cry into my hands, "It was vampires. Vampires killed her. They killed all of them."

And what are you, son? What actually happened the night your mother died?

"Why are you telling me this?"

You are indenial, Ashton. You need to face your own demons, before you can even think of dealing with hers. You really think she'd need the help of an emotionally unstable vampire? She's an angel. She already has forgiveness carved into her blood. And what do you have? Guilty conscience and evil running through your veins. The heart she started is pumping tainted blood through your system. You will never escape your past.