Keep Me Sane (Shizaya Fanfic)

Chapter 10: Rain

(Shizuo's POV)

"I-Izaya..." I try to stop him from talking.

"Hm? What is it?" Izaya asks, looking perfectly normal.

I play around with his hair, not sure what to talk about.

"Um, what would-" I look into his eyes, "What would you do if I died?"

Izaya suddenly shoots up from his bed, "No! You can't?" He was already in the verge of tears.

"I'm not going to die," I assured him, "Just... what if?"

Izaya relaxes his tensed body, "Then what's the point of living?"

"Well, the point of living-"

"It was a rhetorical question!" He interrupted, "Because if you died then what's the point of my life without you?!"

I couldn't go further into this topic, "I'm going to get you breakfast now."

Izaya grabs onto my arm, "I'm not hungry."

"Well you need to have some energy to do things and food is just the right answer," I pat his head.

He shakes my hand away from his head, "I don't need it."

"Yes you do."

"No..."

"You have to eat."

"No!"

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Yes."

"N-No!" Izaya smacks my hand away, "J-Just leave me alone!"

I didn't know what to say, so I just left his room. I didn't leave the asylum, just his room.

~

I go to Izaya's door, holding a cup of yogurt. I put it down and place a plastic spoon on top of it. I knock on his door and hide at the corner of the hallway. Izaya opens his door and looks left and right, then at the ground. He kneels down and examines the yogurt. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally picks it up and closed his door. I go in front of his room and knock once more.

I hear Izaya shuffling to get the door, but I started to talk before he could open it, "You don't have to answer, just hear me out."

There was silence.

"Whatever you do, just eat something," I leaned on his door.

"I- I'm not eating!" Izaya stutters, but from the inside, I could already hear him tearing open the lid.

I smile, "I'm going to leave early today."

~

(Izaya's POV)

I didn't want him to leave, I truly didn't. I never had a fight with Shizu-chan either, but when we were discussing about food and shit, it was just a really touchy subject for me. I don't even know why I got pissed off.

I finished eating the yogurt and decided to keep the empty container of yogurt on my desk. Just to keep me through the day.

I look through my window and see patients and workers side by side with each other. Pretending that they liked to talk with one another. What a bunch on fakes. Bet you don't have somebody coming into your room to rape and torture you every day. Right? Right?

Gosh, I loathe them, but even more, I loathed myself. I hated myself because I still had the courage to envy other patients. For wanting what they have, I still had desires. It shows me that I'm just one step away from being a monster. I still had feelings, meaning that I was still human. But what is human? Nobody in the whole world could answer that, even science won't provide you the right answer.