M E A N D P E T E

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T I M E: September 2015 (re-telling the following months in 2014 after fight)

Ryan stayed with me for a couple days after everything that happened with Pete. We sat in my room and cuddled and kissed and laughed. It was great until he left. He had to leave though because he had a family emergency. Sydney took his place.

I mostly sat in my room and cried. Sometimes i would leave to get a shower or go to the bathroom. I didn't really drink or eat anything for about two month. The breakup tore me apart.

I was hospitalized one time because I had no nutrients in me. Sydney would try to feed me but I refused. I was falling apart. Sydney forced me to see a therapist. She told me that I would probably die if I didn't get help. So I went.

I was slowly moving on. Eating more and going out more. Pete was in the past. I was going to focus on me. I was going to finish college. Take care of Ashlyn. Not a man and his two children.

T I M E  S K I P: December 31st, 2015// New York City

Sydney was getting ready in her hotel room and I was getting dressed in mine. I put on a silver cropped mini tank top and high waisted shiny pants. I put on a black fedora that I had packed.

My makeup was done, my short black hair was curled, and my heals were strapped on. I took a look in the mirror. I had to admit, I looked better than I had in a while. A couple months ago, I weighed 100 pounds and looked like I was dying. Now, I was at a healthy weight and I looked lively.

I heard a knock at my door. Through the peep hole, I saw a beautiful blonde. Sydney. I opened my door and she stepped in. She had on a short silver mini dress with 6 inch heels on. She looked stunning.

"You know, I was trying to find a hot guy to kiss at midnight. But right now, I want a piece of your ass." I said as she laughed. "This is the last day of 2015. Everything that happens this year, stays in this year." She said and winked. I rolled my eyes.

I put my long blazer on and grabbed what I needed and we left. We were going to Kanye's New Year's Eve party. He sent limos out to all of his guests. We got into ours and headed over to the Empire State Building.

We arrived pretty earlier but there were still tons of people. I headed to the bar and ordered a drink. I sat down on one of stools and waited. I chatted with Kendall Jenner about model stuff. I didn't even notice that my ex-boyfriend had saw me and sat down next to me.

As I was grabbing my drink, I looked over. I panicked. He was smiling at me. I tried to quickly get my drink and go but I spilled my vodka on him. "Oh fuck! Sorry uh Pete um I have to go goodby-" I turned to walk away put he grabbed my arm.

"No it's my fault. Sorry I scared you, a. You only got some vodka on my shoes. But please stay. I want to talk to you." He looked at me with those beautiful hazel eyes and gave me a "I'm so lonely" look.

I just shook my head. "Well at least you can give me back my hat." He said, grabbing the fedora off of me. "What? Your hat?" He nodded and showed me the inside of the hat. "See. 'P.W.' My hat!" I let out a little laugh. "Alright. Sorry. Take it back."

He put it back on my head. "No no. It looks way better on you." I blushed. "Thanks petezza." I realized that I hadn't called him that in a long time. "Pete. Thanks." He made a sad face. "Haven't heard that in a while. Haven't heard from you in a while too. Look I'm sorry about what I did Ashlyn. I know Ryan was just your friend. I-"

I grabbed his hand. "Hey, that was over a year ago. I've moved past it. Slowly. But I did. It's okay now." I could feel a lump in my throat. "I'm okay now. You seem like you're fine too." He shook his head. "Can we talk somewhere else?" Before I said anything, he grabbed my hand and took me into a small room that was empty.

"What more is there to talk about, P?" I asked, looked at my shoes. I didn't want to love him. I knew if I looked at him any longer, I would.

"A lot of things. I was mess after our breakup. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, all I could do was try to drink you away. I stayed with Meagan for a while but she left. She said I was 'too dangerous to be around others' and she was right. I didn't take any of my medication. I didn't want to live. You were my oxygen and I couldn't live without you. That sounded so cliché but it's true. When I read that letter, I broke down in tears. I ruined the best relationship I've ever had. I tried calling you but you changed your number. I wanted to be with you since Syds birthday party. I love you Ashlyn. I fucking love you so much."

He reached into his back pocket. He pulled out my engagement ring that I taped onto the note. When I saw it, I broke down in tears. "No no Pete no. Wha- why?" I could see tears rolling down his cheeks. "I keep this on me all the time because I said to myself one day 'the first time I see ashlyn again, i will propose. I've waited 607 days to see you. Now it's time."

I cried harder. He got down on one knee, like he did on that cold March night, and looked me in the eyes. All I could do was shake my head. "Ashlyn Moon Bohler," I laughed through my tears. He was the only person who actually knew my middle name. "I've loved you since the day I saw you. I knew that all the other girls I dated in my past were nothing compared to you. You cared for me. Loved me. Fed me pizza after a long day. Calmed when down when i was stressed. Held me when I was sad. You are my best friend. A, will you marry me?"

I stared at him completely shocked from everything he had said. I opened my mouth but no words came out. "Ashlyn breathe. Say something." Pete looked sad. He knew I was going to say no. This was crazy. This was spontaneous. But I liked crazy. I loved spontaneous. I loved Pete.

It clicked.

I love Pete.

I held out my hand. "Yes. Yes! Yes! Pete, I love you." His face lit up. He slid the ring on my finger and cupped my face. He leaned in and kissed me. So full of lust. He wanted this kiss. He's waited for this kiss for over a year. I couldn't lie, I wanted this kiss too.

It was soon broken up by someone opening the door. "Come on! The balls about to drop!" I could hear people yelling. I looked up at Pete and smiled. "Let's go." He grabbed my hand and we walked out towards the deck.

It was freezing outside. Pete could see. He took off his "douche" jacket, as I would call it, and put it over my bare shoulders. "Thank you P." I said, kissing him.

The countdown started. Pete screamed out "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Just as the ball stopped, Pete kissed me and put his arms around my waist. "Happy New Years beautiful. I love you so much. 2016 is going to be our year. I can feel it."