Phan Oneshots

Dear Phil

Dear Phil, AmazingPhil,
I know you'll never get these but I'm having a hard time and you make it better so here I am.
Writing to you.
Again.

Dear Phil,
It's getting a lot harder. Life. The bullies. Being gay isn't easy.
I wish I had never told that boy....he said he was different. I guess not.
Thanks, I guess. For listening.
You're the only one who will.

Dear Phil,
Maybe some day you'll respond to my emails. Maybe not. I guess I won't know until you do.
Or don't.

Hey,
Could you maybe respond? I'm going through a hard time....worse than usual.
Depression....anxiety.....thoughts of self harm.
It's harder than usual and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out.
Please talk to me.

This is it I guess.
I can't do anything without being judged. School is horrible and I come home with bruises daily, not that my parents notice.
Just going in public is hard.  Everyone sees the bruises or knows me from school. They all think I'm a wannabe emo, which I'm not. At all.
No one cares enough to actually get to know me.
You're the only thing that gets me through the day but I don't know for how much longer.

Today it was worse than usual. They almost broke my arm. They only stopped when they heard the principal coming.
Why me?
What have I ever done?
Be myself. And apparently that isn't allowed anymore.

Today I gave up. I won't go to school tomorrow. I won't leave my room. No one will notice. Maybe I won't ever come out. Maybe I'll end it all right here, right now.
And maybe no one will care that a 17 year old boy's life was ruined due to something as simple as his sexuality.
I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Dear Daniel,
I hope with all my heart you're still here.
I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner, I wish I had, before it was too late.
Maybe it isn't.
I don't know you but I feel like I do. I understand how you feel, I promise. I got bullied daily. No one cared enough to say anything. I still have a few scars.
Only some of them are from the bullies and a few are from myself, ones that I'm not proud of.
I hope that you haven't given up because I want you to know I'm there for you.

I'll be visiting Manchester soon and I think you said you live there? Only you know I'm visiting. Please reply and tell me and we can meet up. I won't let you down like everyone else.

I promise.

I love you Daniel, exactly how you are.
Please, never change. Not for anyone.

With love and hope,
Your Amazing Phil