For The Better

Diana

Darius is getting bold. Calling me a bitch over the phone? Tuh, I cant believe this nigga! Yeah, I know I fucked up and all but a bitch? Really? I told him off thinking it would make me feel better... but in fact it made me feel way worst.

I rolled my eyes as I sat in my car parked at the mall. I placed my head in my hands and sighed. I got out of my car and headed into the mall. I walked around a couple times, not buying anything, just browsing when I seen an advertisement poster. It had a picture of a man and woman and a little girl. It read "You will never love anyone how you love your family" I softened and grew from angry to sad. Its true, even though Darius and I argue alot and dont talk much, he was my first love, I do love him and I wont love anyone else like I love him. We have a daughter, Patience, my heart and soul. I dont want Patience growing up without a stable household. I have to make things right. 

I walked up to the cookie shop in the mall. "Hey, can I have a big cookie Cake that says "Sorry, I love you" I asked the man. He nodded and make my cake.

I drove home listening to the radio, in a semi good mood with the best intentions in mind. I pulled up to  our apartment complex. I got out the car singing the last song I heard. "I care" By Beyonce. I walked into my apartment, placed the cookie cake on the counter and opened the lid. I lit a few candles. I kicked off my shoes and walked to our bedroom. The door was closed. Darius must be sleep. I think I heard moaning. Well, maybe he is... you know, jerking off, its been a while since we had sex. I giggled to myself and opened the bedroom door.

"Oh shit!" Darius said quickly standing up. My mouth opened. The girl put the covers over her face. "What the fuck Darius! I leave for what? 2 hours and you already got some hoe in our apartment? Having sex in OUR BED!?!" I yelled. Darius lowered his head. "Who is the bitch?" I yelled again. "Darius slid on his boxers.

"Look Diana-" "Shut the fuck up!" I yelled. "I wanna know who the fuck the bitch is!" I yelled again. The girl slowly came from under the sheets and showed her face. My mouth dropped. "Gabrielle?"  I asked. She looked guilty. She turned and put her bra on. I looked at Darius and shook my head. Gabrielle quickly got dressed. 

"Uh, I think I should go" She said trying to walk past me but I was standing in the door way. I wouldnt move. She pushed passed me. I can believe this shit. This bitch got the nerve to fuck my man in my bed in my house? Oh hell naw!

I turned around and ran to where Gabrielle was with Darius quickly on my heels. I snatched Gabrielle by her hair and threw her on the ground. Darius grabbed me. "No! Let me go!" I yelled as Gabrielle struggled to get off the floor. I broke away from Darius and punched Gabrielle in the back of the head. Darius gabbed me again. "LET ME GO!" I yelled. Gabrielle slapped me. Darius let me go as I chocked Gabrielle. Darius came in the middle of us. "STOP!" He yelled. 

"No, fuck you Darius! I shoulda known that bitch wanted you!" I yelled pointing my finger to Gabrielle. "Shut up hoe!" Gabrielle said to me. "Oh really? Bitch is this what you want? Im from New Orleans, I'll give yo ass a good N.O ass whooping!" I yelled back. "Ha! Girl please! You dont wanna see me!" Gabby said. "Wanna take this outside?" I said. "Aint go be no taking it outside! Yall need to fucking chill!" Darius said. "Shut the fuck up!" I yelled. 

"See, you such a stupid bitch, if you go neglect Darius, I'll take him and do him right. And i'll be a better mother to Patience that you ever was!" She said. "Bitch, dont even say my baby name! I'll fuck you up hoe! You aint nothing but a lil ugly bitch that like to fuck other peoples man!" I yelled. "Well at least im not a bad mother!" Gabrielle said.

I blacked out. I ran around Darius and attacked Gabrielle. I started stomping her. "DONT YOU EVER INSULT MY PARENTING SKILLS!" I yelled as I was stomping her. Darius picked me up from my waist. "Leave Gabby! I'll call you later!" He said to her. Gabrielle quickly walked out the apartment. Darius put me down.

"Oh really? You go see the bitch later?" I asked. "Man, thats my friend" He said. "Yo friend? Friends fuck now?" I asked crossing my arms. "Look, you can get out with all that. You aint even been here for me lately" He said. "Its all about you huh? What about me huh? When is the last time somebody asked me how I felt about shit huh? When was the last time somebody asked me if I was okay? When was the last time somebody held me in their arms like they actually loved me?" I asked. I didn't realized I started to cry. 

"Its not about you anymore! We have a fucking daughter and I wish you would realize that!" He yelled at me.

"I do REALIZE IT!" I yelled back.

"Then stop be selfish all the time!" He started. " What about me, what about me, what about me!" He mocked me. " FUCK YOU! Its not all about you, its not all about me, its all about Patience! She is only a little baby and she depends on us to take care of her!" He yelled.

"YOU ARE SELFISH TOO! YOU WAN FUCKING GABRIELLE, NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HOW I WOULD FEEL ABOUT IT!" I yelled.

"She is HERE for me. Unlike you. You always out smoking or partying with yo dumb ass friends!" He said. 

"Im STRESSED OUT DARIUS! Why cant you see im hurt! Im sad, Im depressed! Im sorry that I want to get away from all this bullshit I have to deal with on a daily basis!" I said.

"So what, you calling me and Patience bullshit?" He asked. I didnt say anything. He know I didnt mean it like that.

"Maybe Gabrielle was right, maybe you are a bad mom" He said.

WHAAAAP!

I slapped him. Hard. He held his face in shock that I slapped him. I rushed to the bedroom and packed my things. I cried as I packed my suitcases. He didnt move. I grabbed my 2 small suitcases full of my things and stood at the front door.

"Its over Darius, im tired of dealing with you. I love Patience, but mommy needs a break right now. I'll come back for her" I said. "So, you just go leave me and Patience, just like that" He said. "Fuck you Darius" I said as I walked out the door.

I put my suitcases in my trunk and drove off. I drove to my grandmothers house and sat in the car parked in her driveway. I beat my head against the sterning wheel. "FUCK!" I yelled out. 

I walked in my grandmothers house. She was sitting on the couch. "Hey grandma" I said wiping my face. "Baby, whats wrong?" She asked. "Me and Darius just had a big fight! I think its really over" I said. "Oh baby!" She said putting her hand on my shoulder. 

"Grandma, can you please... hold me?" I asked. "Of course baby!" She said. I scooted closer to her and laid in my grandmothers arms and cried like a baby.