Our Eternal Ruin (Auslly)

31. You're my favourite

I dreamt of my mom. Of her long blond hair and happy hazel eyes. She was so beautiful. She asked me if I was scared. I told her no. We were sitting on the red swing set my dad had bought me for my sixth birthday. She lifted my hands to her lips and kissed my fingers and told me that it would be okay. For some reason, I believed her. Before she disappeared, she pressed her hands to my chest and closed her eyes.

~Austin~

"Austin," Angela murmured. "It's time to get up, sweetie. We've got to get you prepped."

I yawned and nodded then nudged Ally awake. She clung to me for a few brief minutes before leaving the room.

I'd see her right before I went in, and I knew she wanted to go get changed since the surgery was going to be at least ten hours.

"How do you feel?" Angela asked like she always did.

"Good." My eyes narrowed. "So strange. I had a dream about my mom. You look a lot like her."

"Really?" She tilted her head. "I imagine she was beautiful, so I'll take that as a compliment."

I laughed as she helped me into the hospital gown. "Oh, she was, believe me."

Once I was in the gown, Angela hooked up my IV again and gave me some anti-nausea medication. It was over really quick.

My dad came in to give me a hug. Cassidy strolled in with a balloon and a teddy bear.

I took the gift and gave her a hug.

The football team didn't know I was in surgery. My professors didn't know. But Coach did, so when he walked into the room bawling like a baby, it didn't take me by surprise. We'd been through hell and back. It was surreal seeing a three hundred pound lineman cry — he'd played for Florida State around twenty years ago. He shook his head and grabbed my hand.

"You beat this and I'll let you play in the bowl game."

Laughing, I squeezed his hand. "You better let me play. I'm the star quarterback after all."

"That you are." He chuckled and patted my hand. "See you when you wake up."

"When I wake up," I repeated after him as he walked out of my room.

Dez showed up soon after that.

He sat down in silence.

"You okay, man?" I asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He still refused to look at me.

"Dez..."

"I asked God to give me the cancer. I still wish He would. You're too good, man. You don't... I just—" A string of curses poured out that shocked even me. "My mind still can't comprehend it."

"Stop trying." I sighed. "And remember what I said, let it make you different."

"I've been clean for three years." Dez rocked back in his chair. "This is the first time since then that I've been tempted to throw it all away. The pain is too much and then I feel selfish for thinking about myself. I'm not strong like you."