Our Eternal Ruin (Auslly)

32. Don't be dead

Ten hours? What was I supposed to do for ten hours? Pray? I was praying. I was trying not to cry and Dez was trying to cheer me up by telling me embarrassing stories of Cassidy's childhood — not helpful, but he was trying.

~Ally~

After five hours, I was ready to go crazy.

They said the surgery could take anywhere from ten to twelve hours.

Mike said that if the doctors came out within the first hour it wasn't good news. It meant it was inoperable, but he had high hopes, so the minute we were out of the woods after the first two hours had passed, I relaxed a bit.

I looked at the clock again. It was noon. By Five, I should have Austin back in my arms, hurting, but at least alive.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on his kisses, slowly falling asleep to the memory of his heart rhythm.

When I woke everyone had gone, I was alone in the corridor.

I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, a horrible feeling about Austin.

Something was wrong.

"Can you hear me? Ally?"

My eyes widened as I frantically looked around.

His voice was so close, maybe if I closed my eyes it would feel more real. I reached up to touch him but all I could feel was air. He wasn't there.

And then it dawned upon me.

He was gone.

So it really happened.

I blinked a few times and tried to focus on what was in front of me. It looked like him, but he was standing too far away. Why was I now lying on the ground?

"Come back to me." I let out a loud scream in frustration.

His mouth moved as he spoke softly. "Not like this, Ally. Not like this, baby." His eyes flared with need. "Everything is going to be just fine. I promise."

But it wasn't fine.

I knew it.

He knew it.

He was gone — and I was hallucinating.

I'd lost the love of my life — my best friend. How many times could people experience loss before they died too? Before heartache consumed them? Memories flooded my brain, memories of my parents, memories of him playing football, memories of all the notes he gave me.

Our first kiss.

Our final time together.

And then the hospital.

We hadn't been given enough time — and I hated God for taking everyone from me. I hated that in the end, I would always be alone to mourn the loss of those I loved.

I reached for his face one last time.

This time my fingers came into contact with warm skin.

I shook my head, a heartbreaking sob escapes my mouth.

"Austin no! Don't be dead, please, don't be dead."

He smiles at me, his face looking soft, at peace.

"This is all some kind of dream right?"

Well, if it was a dream, I was going to enjoy the way his smile lit up the room.

His lips touched my forehead.

I closed my eyes and prayed for me to be taken as well.

Because I knew the moment I woke up, I'd have to say goodbye all over again, and this time I wasn't sure I'd ever heal from the experience of that one word leaving my lips.

Goodbye — whoever invented that word should burn in Hell.

Dez hit me in the arm. I woke up with a jump, my eyes stinging.

A doctor was walking toward us. His head down.

I look at the clock, I had only been asleep for ten minutes. He's still only been in surgery for five hours. It was too soon.

No!

No!

I knew it was too soon for him to be briefing us! My heart faltered and then thundered against my chest as I gripped Dez' hand and waited for the news.

The doctor smiled when Mike stood. Smiling was good right? I took a deep breath.

I would have felt it if Austin's heart stopped beating, I would have known in my soul — he was still with us, he had to be.

But that dream...

"It's the strangest thing..." The doctor shook his head. "The surgery's finished."

"Why is that strange?" Mike asked.

"His tumor." The doctor seemed to be having trouble forming words. "When we looked at it a few days ago, it was the size of the palm of my hand." He held up his hand.

"Somehow over the course of the last few days, it shrunk to the size of a small plum."

"I'm sorry, what?" Mike blinked a few times. I could tell he was trying not to cry.

"The cancer's gone," the doctor said slowly. "It was only in that one location, very near to his heart, but operable. We removed the tumor without any complications. Your son..." The doctor's voice shook and he drew a tremulous breath. "Your son will live to be a very old man, and have a long happy life."

Dez held me as I collapsed against his chest in thankful sobs.

"When can we see him?" Mike asked, his voice hoarse.

"He's still asleep." The doctor smiled. "I don't know if it was the drugs finally kicking in, or just a miracle. I've worked in the field of oncologic thoracic surgery for fifteen years and never seen anything like it. We'll be examining all the drugs your son took to see if there's something to the combination that shrinks tumors in their final stages."

"Alright." Mike held out his hand, and the doctor shook it. "Thank you, thank you for everything."

"It was my pleasure." The doctor nodded to us and walked off.

I couldn't see through my tears.

Dez' body shook against mine. I thought he was crying and then I looked up. He was laughing so hard I thought he was doing to pass out.

"What's wrong with you?" I pushed against him.

"That bastard made me promise to be his best man." Dez laughed even louder. "He would live—" Dez wiped his eyes. "—just to see me in a tux."

I joined in the laughter. Cassidy rose from her chair and grabbed my hand in hers.

Relief, that's all I felt, relief that he was going to be okay, that we were going to be together. I had to keep myself from running into that operating room and throwing my body against his.

He was alive.

The love of my life was waiting for me.

Holy crap. I was getting married in a year.

Now it was my turn to laugh.

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Austin's alive ?!?! Okay..I just fist pumped myself..So he's done with his demons ! WAY TO GO !!!! :D