We're Just Friends (Jaspar/Youtube)

Chapter 5: Tan Skin and Hangovers

I was very glad I had decided not to drink the night before, especially after spotting Oli and Marcus passed out on the living room floor the following morning.

My morning had already started off rather poorly. I woke up to Joe crouched over the toilet in the bathroom moaning to somebody about how he was "never ever drinking again." We'd all heard that one before, and considering the indignant sputtering that came out after the person's response, I assumed it was probably Zoe he was talking to.

Joe had promised to call her back yesterday, I wasn't surprised she wasn't the least bit impressed by the idea of her brother out getting drunk instead. I probably should have called her back myself and told her we were still planning on visiting her and Alfie in Brighton the following week to film some new videos, but frankly I wasn't sure if I still wanted to go.

I did miss them both and I was excited at the prospect of seeing them again, it was just Joe. Joe and me. On a train, at a house, more time I had to spend with Joe, without a buffer like Oli or Marcus to distract myself.

I mean I love spending time with Joe, it's just the more time I spend with him the more time I start noticing little things about him that I shouldn't notice because I'm a friend. F R I E N D. Clearly, I needed to re-learn the definition of that word, but I didn't even know how to start or who I could bloody talk to that wouldn't tell me to just tell him.

I'm not going to just tell my straight-as-an-arrow best friend that I accidentally fell in love with him. How do even begin to tell someone that. Its hard enough to tell someone you love them for the first time when you've been in relationship, I can't just suddenly announce it out of thin air and expect things to go back to normal. Though, I'm not sure I can just keep pretending I don't have any feelings for him. Because its getting harder to just act natural.

I suppose the most reasonable thing to do is to find someone new. The problem being if it did happen, and I did find someone new, the likelihood is it would be a guy. Which leads to the issue of telling everyone I like guys, which I've only shortly begun to embrace that fact, and I don't want to go around labeling myself gay or bi-sexual or anything else before I'm positive.

Plus, then I'd have to tell my family and friends, some of whom I think already suspect something, but there might be some who don't like it. And fans, viewers, what am I suppose to tell them, and how do I tell Joe something like that.

The entire thing is a mess. I decided to get up from the bed, before I could find something else to worry incessantly over and just get Joe a glass of water and some aspirin. Just because I was in love with him didn't mean I wanted to listen to him moan and groan about his bloody hangover all day.

By the time I made it back into the kitchen, Marcus had turned and face planted into the carpet, not moving just making dying whale noises. Oli was facing upwards with a pillow over his face to block the light.

"Morning boys," I screeched just to annoy them further. As I walked past them I felt the corner of the pillow that had been over Oli's face, hit the back of my legs and I let out a laugh. I got out three cups of water and some pills before setting them down next to the two on the floor and making my way back towards my room.

Joe was back on the bed, sideways, phone still pressed to his ear as he stared at the ceiling. His hair was all rumpled, but he'd changed his clothes. He was now wearing one of the my shirts, which hung low on him, covering part of his boxers and exposed his collarbones and tan skin.

I really wanted to lean over and kiss him, all morning sunlight and softly rumpled clothes and crinkly eyes, but I didn't because that wasn't what friends were suppose to do. Instead of leaning over and kissing him, I handed him the cup of water and the pills. He smiled at me lazily as he sat up, mouthing a thank you at me as he mumbled something to the person on the phone before hanging up.

"Zoe?" I asked, turning away from him so I could avoid the urge to sweep my eyes along his petite body and get lost in his eyes. I walked into the closet and grabbed a shirt tugging it on and digging through the drawer to find a pair of shorts.

"Yeah, she wanted to know if we were still going to Brighton?" Joe said and I glanced over at him to see him watching me, a strange expression on his face.

"Hmm," I mumbled tugging on a pair of pants and grabbing my shoes. When I looked back over at Joe he quickly flicked his eyes back up to the ceiling, a warm reddish color, beginning to appear along his cheeks.

I ignored it assuming he was just overheated since our flat was stuffy and humid. We'd never gotten around to fixing the air conditioning, speaking of which I really should even though we didn't use it much before.

"Where are you going?" Joe questioned as he trailed behind me back towards the kitchen sitting down at the table next to Marcus, who apparently decided it was time to stop kissing the carpet in our living room.

"Lunch with Connor," I said turning to frown at Joe. I'd told him multiple times over the past week that we were meeting to talk about making a collab video.

Joe was frowning again as I watched him confused.

"Just to make a collab?" Joe asked again and I saw Marcus staring at him strangely.

"No Joe, we're going on a date," I said sarcastically, reaching into the fridge to find the milk. I heard someone cough behind me and looked up, watching Joe choke on his sip of water.

Oli was muffling his laughter into the palm of his hand as he watched him.

"Are you okay?" I asked Joe worriedly walking over to the table and Joe nodded.

"Yeah, just went down the wrong way," Joe said as he looked down at the table.

"Okay," I said turning back to my cereal, ignoring the muffled whispers coming from Marcus and Oli.

I left about ten minutes later, calling out an obnoxiously loud good bye to the three inside as I heard Oli swear at me. Joe was still sat at the kitchen table, pouting, I figured his hangover was just making him grumpy.