We're Just Friends (Jaspar/Youtube)

Chapter 11: Maybe One Day

The train ride to Brighton was quiet. Joe sat across from me, foot bouncing against the bottom of the train car, one hand clutching the leather material of the seat as he hunched forward to stare out the window. I stared at him, opening my mouth before snapping it closed again.

I really wanted to ask him what we were. If we were a "we" even, but I knew it was the wrong time. Part of me was a bit mad at Zoe. That thought made me want to smack myself though, as I turned to look at my phone. I felt selfish for putting my own emotions over the fact that Zoe was injured enough to be hospitalized. It was selfish.

Luckily the train ride was only an hour before we were pulling up to the train station in Brighton. Brighton is always cooler than London due to its close proximity to the ocean and I shivered beneath my thin jumper as we waited for the taxi to arrive. Joe's hair was windblown, but he didn't acknowledge his hair or the goosebumps lining the top of his arms, instead he stood stock still, arms crossed protectively over his body and stared at the water running through the gutter at the edge of the sidewalk.

I'd tried to tell him when we were packing to bring a jacket but I don't think he'd been listening as I rushed around throwing things into a duffle bag. It'd only been a little over an hour ago when I had packed part of my own duffle and wandered into his room to see if he had my phone charger. He'd been sitting on his bed staring blankly at a pile of shirts and jeans that were on the ground.

His face had been a blank mask, no emotions visible and it had scared me. We didn't know anything about Zoe's prognosis but I knew Joe was assuming the worst. I had shoved his clothes in my own duffle as he tried to call his dad on the phone before we had made our way to the train station.

I knew I should have grabbed a coat for him, but it had freaked me out when he wasn't responding to anything I was saying. He had left a message for his dad and stayed mute the whole time.

A taxi pulled up in front of us jerking me out my reverie as I moved forward to open the door. Joe climbed in, eyes staring out the window as he completely ignored me.

I frowned turning towards the driver, "Royal Sussex County Hospital please,"

The driver nodded as he started the car. I watched Joe out of the corner of my eye before sighing and turning away. Clearly me staring at him like a creep was not going to result in an answer. I settled back into the leather seat, preparing myself for the short journey to the hospital.

The driver flipped on the radio in attempt to fill the awkward silence that had engulfed the car.

We pulled up to the front of the hospital and climbed out of the car. I reached for the duffle bag, slinging it over my shoulder as I trailed after Joe through the entrance. The minute I stepped inside I sucked in a harsh breath of sterile air.

I hate hospitals. The only thing in hospitals are sad families and hurt people. I don't know how doctors or nurses can stand to be around it everyday. I'm glad someone can though since their essential to our health, and I'm sure they save people everyday I just hate being inside them.

The walls are too white. The floor too clean.

Joe was talking to some lady at the front desk, her hair twirled up into a large bun on the top of her head as they talked in soft voices. I glanced around awkwardly, trying to avoid making eye contact with any of the people stuck in the plastic chairs near the window.

One couple caught my eye. It was two men, both with graying hair. The one man had a bright blue cane resting against the side of his chair. What caught my eye though was that they held hands, knees resting against each other. One of the men had his hand resting on the others leg as he gripped his hand tightly, the flash of a silver ring on his left hand. They sat as close as they could possibly get through the arms of the chairs. One of the men looked up and met my eyes and I quickly glanced away.

I didn't want to stare at them. I'm sure they thought I was some stupid homophobic person. It made me sad that people like that even existed. I turned back towards Joe walking up behind him. Joe started to back up into me as I reached my hand out, steadying him.

Joe turned to look at me as the lady behind the desk spoke, "She's in surgery currently, but there is a separate waiting room beyond those doors."

I nodded as Joe turned to walk towards the door. He paused for a moment looking back at me and for the first time I saw a hint of some emotion playing behind his eyes. He took a deep breath and held out his hand. I walked forward, grasping it tightly as I stared back at him. A quiet acceptance that this was what he needed right now.

Joe let out a little breath of air as his hand tightened against mine and he moved to walk through the doors. I walked beside him, glancing back to thank the women at the desk as my eyes met the eyes of the old man again. His face shifted and revealed a small smile as he looked from my face down to Joe and my's intertwined hands. He turned to whisper something in the other man's ear that caused him to smile. I blushed slightly before I felt Joe tug my hand as we moved through the door and the two old men disappeared.

I wondered how long they'd been together. How they'd overcome everything they had faced. Part of me wished I could have talked to them, but I knew they were probably hear waiting just like Joe and I for some news that could change everything about someone they may know and love, so I pushed the urge to turn around and talk to them away and wandered down the hall with Joe towards another waiting room.

Inside the second waiting room there were only three people. Alfie was one of them, curled up in a chair by the corner with his phone clutched in one hand. He was staring out the window at the cars passing by. We moved closer to him and I cleared my throat to garner his attention. He turned to face us and I could see how red his eyes were from crying.

Joe sat down next to him, "What happened?"

"Drunk driver ran a red light, her car...it- it flipped three times." Alfie choked out as he clenched his hand around the phone. "Who- Who even drinks at this time?" Alfie whispered letting his head fall back against the chair.

Joe turned away from Alfie to stare out the window, clearly trying to process the new information. He had released my hand when he sat down in the chair and I felt odd. I wanted nothing more than to grab onto his hand again, offer him some form of comfort while we waited, but I didn't know what was happening between us and I didn't want to upset him more than he already was.

"Did you reach either of her parents?" I asked after a couple minutes turning to face Alfie again. Alfie nodded his head, "Her dad's on his way, her mum didn't answer,"

I kicked the duffle bag with my foot, moving it to the side so I wouldn't trip on it if I got up later and settled in for the long wait.