Iparked my car in front of the fitness club. She must be in the onlyplace where she feels safe: a dance studio. I think I heard y/ntalking about a huge dance studio in the club. Anyway, even if Idreamed that part, she is here. I know it. Either in her classroom orin the studio, but she is. It was late and the place seemed empty. Iwalked to the entrance and I thought about ringing the doorbell, butthe door was already opened. The hallway was dark but in the end Isaw a room that was lit. It was probably the dance studio because herclassroom was upstairs. I walked towards the light. The more Iwalked, the more I heard music. A great song actually. Fighter byChristina Aguilera. I've always loved that one. I looked through theopen door and there she was. The music was now deafening, but Ididn't care. I was looking at her back, but thanks to the mirror infront of her, I could also see her front. She didn't seem to see me.I lean on the doorframe and look at her. I realize I never saw herdancing before. What a shame. She's by far one of the best dancersI've ever seen. We could see exactly what she was feeling by lookingat her moves: anger, sadness and disappointment. It was the firsttime I was moved by a dancer. Or maybe I was because it was her. Idon't know. When the song finished, I decided to stop being a creepand talk."Foundyou"I said as the music stopped. She turned to me, without showing anykind of expression. "You'redefinitely the worst at hide and seek"I joke. I really wanted to see her smile or to hear at least achuckle. But it didn't come. Instead, she turned off the radio.Without a word, she took a towel from her bag and took off the sweaton her face. Not that she had much, I could totally beat her on that."Iknew I would find you here"I said to break the silence. She sat in the middle of the room andlooked down. I knew something was wrong with her and I decided towait but now I just couldn't anymore. I sat in front of her and tookher hands in mine. "Youcan talk to me"I say as reassuring as I could. She looked at me, and a tear fallsfrom her eye. Man, I felt awful. I just wanted to hug her, to kissher and to tell her everything will be okay. Even if I didn't know adamn shit about the problem she had. She took a deep breath as shelooked at me again. I knew it was the moment for me to shut up andjust listen. My mom always told me that being a good listener is asimportant as being kind to people. So I listened. "I...Inever had that kind of mother who gave hugs and pep talks. She wasway more into her work than her children, and I think that's one ofthe reason why my parents divorced..."she looked back again, but I kept holding her hands. "WhenI said to my mother I wanted to be a dancer, she told me I wasn'tgood enough, that I would never get into any dance school, that I wasway too fat to be dancer"she explained sadly. How could a mother tell that to her owndaughter? It was impossible to picture for me. "WhenI got into one, I told her and she respond me that I was lucky but Iwould never graduate. She made my life a damn living hell. You haveno idea, really. She made me quit jobs I really needed to pay for myschool, she kept telling me that I would never be a dancer, that Iwould probably finish like one of those drugged people, because ofcourse, every artists does drugs"she said sacarstically with a forced laugh. "That'swhy I left when I got my dance degree. I worked hard to make as muchmoney as I could, I took everything and I left. I just couldn't takeit anymore. Plus, I really wanted to do more: to be an actress and tobe able to play in musicals, to be on Broadway. So I heard about thisschool and I moved here..."her tears was falling more and more, and almost naturally, Iintertwined my fingers with hers. Our hands fit perfectly into eachothers, like they were meant to be held. She didn't seem to beembarassed by it so I didn't move. "WhenI left, I wrote a letter to my little brother and I explained. And Ikept sending messages to him, but he never answered. Until thismorning. He told me to stop bothering him because I abandoned him andour family. That fucking bitch probably found my letter and told himthings untrue..."she explained. I could hear in her voice all the hurt. "Hewas the only family I got with my father"she said as she started to sob. I moved closer to her and took her inmy arms. She put hers around me as I ran my hand up and down her backto comfort her. I hated seeing her crying or being hurt. I could feelmy own tears in my eyes, but I could hold them back. She put her facein the crook of my neck and cried. We stayed like this a few minutesuntil she calmed down. "Well,I'm really sorry for them because they don't know what they'remissing. And you're wrong. They're not your only family, I am. Joeyis. Lauren is. Everyone is"I said, almost in a whisper as I kept holding her against me. "Familyis not always the one who share your blood"I add. She pulled back and look into my eyes. "Wewill get through this together, ok?"I said as I cupped her face. She nodded as she bit her bottom lipnervously. Man, how I wanted to kiss her right now. But I couldn't,she wasn't mine. That thought breaked my heart a little moreeverytime. I leaned and delivered a kiss on her forehead. I neverwanted to let her go. When I pulled back, I looked at her and toldher "Youlook awful".Of course that was a lie. Even with mascara all over her face andpuffy eyes, she still manage to be gorgeous. But I wanted to hear herlaugh. And that time, it worked. She giggled and took off the mascarafrom her face. I looked at her with an amused smile. "Youlook awful all the time tho..."she said sacarstically. I laughed "Damngirl! That was rude".She giggled and adds "Youstarted it! But...thank you".She smiled at me and even if I could tell she was forcing it, I knewshe would be ok. I would do everything I could to put a smile of herface every day from now until my dying day. We stayed a few hours inthe empty room, just talking. I fall more and fall more for her withevery word she said. "I know what you need" I said as Istand up. "What?"she asked looking up at me. "You'llsee in 5 minutes!"I screamed as I run to my car. I needed my guitar. I quickly took itfrom the trunk and run back into the studio. I quickly glance at mywatch. 3 am. Fuck we have courses tomorrow. We will probably beexhausted. Who cares, I thought as I shrugged. Certainly not me. WhenI step back into the room, I heard her say "Ofcourse"and laugh. "What?"I asked as I sit back and start to strum my guitar. "It'sjust, how many people walk around with their instruments? Do you haveyour piano in your car too?"she jokes. "Iactually have a full orchestra, but Ted likes to borrow some thingsand never get them back so I have this"I explain. "Ted?"she asks with a confused face. "That'smy dragon. He's invisible. And he's a musician"I explain very seriously. "Oh,sure. Everything is clear now"she said as she bursts out laughing. "Youreally are special"she told me with an amused face. "Thanks"I grin as I look at her. Her eyes were beautiful. Do not stare,Darren. "Souhm..."I said as I look away. "Ireally love that song and since it's 3 am, it seems appropriate. It'sjust to say that today is a new day, so yesterday's problems are faralready"I said. She smiled at me. And I sang "New Morning" by BobDylan. I used to sing that song all the time with my brother, but itdidn't seem appropriate to say it at the moment. She smiles andlooked at me sweetly through the whole song. I just wanted to let herknow I'll always be there. If she need a family, I would be hers. Ifshe need to feel loved, I will be there. Always.
March 23rd, 2009. 2 weeks before the opening night of "Harry Potter: The Musical". Every one was super excited, but we still had a lot of work to do. I had a few songs to write with AJ, we still had to rehearse and y/n kept trying to make us learn her choregraphy. Not that it was huge dance numbers like in High School Musical or something, but we sucked, so...and Lauren told me something that made my smile: Ryan has been acting weird since our fight. Apparently, y/n told her. I shouldn't be happy about this, but I can't help it. I must be such a bad boy. "Guys I know you're tired but just...try to focus ok?" Y/n said as she desperately tried to show us the choreography for the opening number. Damn it was two stupid moves and we kept blowing it. I felt bad for her. We rehearsed and started to work on songs as we heard from the door "Y/n, can I talk to you for a second?". We all turn to him, Ken. Urgh. Her face lit up and a big smile grew on her face. She turned to Brian, like a daughter who would ask her father if she can go out. "You can go" Brian said with a smile. She runs to him and pulled him for a kiss but he pulled back quickly. I frown. What kind of person would push her back? I roll my eyes and try to focus back on the songs as she left. After the rehearsal, she didn't come back. I texted her "Playing hide and seek again? ;) -D". After a few hours, I started to get worried. Was she really doing the same thing as last week? "Ha. Ha. Lmao. Literally. Palm Bar" I recieved. What the hell was she doing in a bar? I drive there and as I enter, I saw her at the counter, drinking what seemed to be alcohol. "If you wanted to get wasted, you should have called me before" I joke as I put a arm around her waist. When she turned her face to me, I saw the mascara on her face again. Oh fuck. What now? Can't she be happy goddamnit? "What happened?" I screamed so she could hear me through the music. She laughed and took a sip of her drink. She turned to me and laughed again. Man, she must be really drunk. I've never seen her like this before. "The funniest thing ever, Darebear" she said as her smile fades away "He cheated on me".
