Fireproof // H.S.

18. The Funeral

I woke up feeling heavy. I wasn't tired or anything, just heavy. My heart was heavy and there was a dull ache in my head from the lack of sleep I got last night. I stood up and shuffled over to my bedroom mirror. My face was pale and I had bags under my eyes. 

My aunt will be laid to rest today. It was 7:30 AM and her funeral was in two and a half hours at a cemetery thirty minutes away. Harry was softly snoring in the chair in my room. I wanted to wake him but he looked so peaceful so I let him be. I grabbed a change of clothes and walked to the hallway bathroom to get ready.

I walked into the kitchen to find my uncle already up and ready. The aroma of coffee filled the room and there were plates of French toast, pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, and sausages on the table. I found it strange that he cooked a large amount of food for the three of us so I looked at him questioningly. He seemed to understand what I was asking.

"We have relatives stopping by," he said in a monotone voice. He looked tired. A kind of tired like he's done with everything, done with life and I don't blame him. He lost the love of his life after all and it's tough having to re-live it when there are endless amounts of people saying their condolences.

"You should eat," I told him and he went ahead and sat down at the table. I grabbed some dishes and utensils and set up the table. Twenty minutes later, the doorbell went off and I quickly went down the stairs to the bakery and saw my mom's brother with his wife and their son. I let them in and brought them up to the kitchen. I watched as they tried to comfort Uncle Mark in this tough time. I was surprised that Jimmy their son, who is usually a rocket bouncing off of walls, was calm and collected. He just sat on the couch hugging his toy dog. I called Jimmy over and he went up to hug me.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Thank you," I breathed, hugging him back. I saw movement in the corner of my eye and saw Harry emerge from my room. He yawned and scratched his back. His eyes were full of sleep and his hair was messy. A nice kind of messy that you want to run your hands through.

"Who's that?" Jimmy asked. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"I--uh..." I started, at a loss for words. What are we? We didn't quite make it official. We just said that we had feelings for each other and that was it.

"Yes I am," Harry replied to my relief. His voice was quiet. Too quiet. I wasn't sure if he was quiet because he was still sleepy or quiet because he was upset that I hesitated calling him my boyfriend.

"Your hair is long like a girl's," Jimmy pointed out. Little kids were too honest and innocent sometimes. I quickly glanced at Harry to see his response.

"What's wrong with having long hair?" Harry shot back. You could tell there was a bit of annoyance in his voice. Jimmy stayed silent and ran back to his parents.

"Hey, be nice!" I said, playfully punching his arm. Harry didn't laugh with me. "What's wrong?" I asked. Harry gave me a hard stare.

"You hesitated," he replied. "Are we not together?"

"Of course we're together!" I answered. This is ridiculous! Why are we having this argument?

"Why didn't you tell him I was your boyfriend then?"

"I..." my voice faltered. "I wasn't sure what we were because we didn't officially say we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I didn't want to jump the gun and have you deny being my boyfriend." Harry's gaze softened and he sighed.

"I'm sorry," Harry breathed, pulling me into a hug. "I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"I love you, Harry. I love you a lot." I meant what I said and it scared me that I felt so strongly about it.