The Broken Girl

Being Brave Only Breaks You More

I sigh. Getting sick of the silence that's in this room.
And yes.
We're still in detention.
I hear Austin groan and I giggle "You just woke up baby?" I ask in a baby voice, he looks at me with tired eyes "Wha?" I giggle and I ruffle his hair "Nothing Hun" He growls at me playfully "Don't.Touch.The.Hair." I laugh, I see him smile at me "W-What?" I stutter, getting nervous under his gaze "Nothing...I just haven't heard you laugh before" I blush "Ok.." I smile at him "NO!" I flinch and I turn around to look at Izzy "No?" I ask a little jumpy from the scare she gave me "Yeah! I mean-NO!" I stifle a urge to giggle at her "What do you mean no?" She sighs and stands up "You shouldn't..." I look at her, waiting for her to finish "I shouldn't..?" I hear Austin sigh "You shouldn't be.." I keep looking at her. She shifts uncomfortably under my stare "She doesn't want you to be happy" Me and Izzy snap our heads at Austin "What?" I ask confused, he looks at Izzy and then at me "She doesn't want you to be happy" I look at her with an eye brow raised "Izzy, is this true?" She scoffs "Of course it is!" I run my hand through my hair "Why?" I ask with a sigh, she looks at Austin ad points at him "You shouldn't be with him!" She shouts, I roll my eyes "I've been told that, like. A million of times" She stomps her foot "Charlie! You don't deserve to be happy!" I stand up "And why is that?" I ask sternly, getting mad with every second "Because...because-" "See, you don't have a reason" I turn around about to sit down "Cause you let your Dad almost rape you!" I stop, my heart beating out of my chest, my hands are now starting to shake, I turn around but only half way "W-What did y-you just say?" She stays silent for a second but continues anyway "Y-Yeah! That's r-right! I saw you and your own father kissing!" I look at the floor "N-No!" I stutter "Oh Charlie" I hear her heels click off the floor "No need to be ashamed" Her heels stop clicking "I won't tell nobody only if you dump Austin" I hear her whisper. Austin suddenly jumps up and stands in front of me "You" He says sternly "Keep away from Charlie" I start shaking

'I didn't kiss him...he tried to rape me!'

I shake my head and I stare at the floor "Austin, baby" I start getting angry again "She cheated on you" She whispered "With her own father" She tells him, raising her voice at the end of her sentence "Charlie didn't kiss him!" I look at Austin "I know she didn't! And I know she wouldn't! Why are you always making her life hell? Are you jealous that she has something that you don't and will never have?" He takes a step closer "Love?" He whispers, I pull Austin back and I stand in front if him, I glare at her "Can I tell you something?" She looks at me "What?" She snaps "Best friend to Best friend?" She crosses her arms and shrugs "Sure" She says annoyed, I look at Austin and I give him a knowing look, his eyes widen and he shakes his head :No: He mouths. Tears form in my eyes and I nod :I have too: he looks at Izzy and shakes his head "No I won't let you do this!" I shake my head "I-I have too.." I slowly turn my head to Izzy who has a confused look on her face "G-Get your phone out..you might w-wanna record this.." She narrows her eyes and reaches for her pocket "Why?" She asks slowly, I sigh letting a tear drop "It's for your..friends.." I tell her, she does what I said and takes her phone out "What now?" I nod at her phone "Put it on record" She shakes her head "No, Charlie. What are yo-" I glare at her with tears threatening to fall "Do it!" I snap at her, she flinches and she starts doing things on her phone. I turn to Austin and he has his head in his hands "A-Austin?" He looks up with tears in his eyes "No! Charlie d-don't do t-this!" I shake my head and I hug him "I-I have t-too! She wou-would've found out anyway...I might as well do this now.." He pushes me away and looks at me "D-Don't.." I sigh letting more tears fall "Aus-Austin..." His eyes widen "N-No.." I take a breath and I let the words fall out of my mouth "W-We should br-break up...." He shakes his head quickly and he touches my arm "No! Charlie don't do this!!" I rip my arm out of his grip and I sob "I-I'm sorry! I c-can't do this an-anymore!" I sob some more and I hear him sob "Charlie.." He whispers, I shake my head and I snap at him "Go!" He shakes his head and I see his tears in his beautiful hazel eyes "Ju-Just...go.." I whisper, he looks at Izzy "You monster...YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!" He charges at Izzy, I stand in front of her. Blocking her from Austin "AUSTIN! GO!" He looks at me and then at Izzy "She did this!" I shake my head "Go..now" He takes a shaky breath and he walks backwards "F-Fine.." He looks at me with sadness in his hazel eyes "Fine" he says with pure heartbreak and he runs out, I sob and my knees start to buckle "Ch-Charlie?" I turn around to see Izzy with her phone.
Recording.
I sigh and I wipe my tears away "Is Th-That still r-recording?" She nods shakily, I nod at her.
Determined to do this.

'Just gotta do it...you have to do this....you need to do this..'

I look at the camera and I wipe my tears away "Hey! Everybody" I greet to the camera "You're probably wondering why the 'Freak' or 'the slut' is on camera but..that's what I'm gonna tell you in a second...first let me tell you something..that I had experienced...and I wish I didn't" I look at Izzy who's confused but has sadness in her eyes "W-Well...I almost got raped...yup!..by my own father...you could say that I was 'enjoying it' but really..I wasn't" I shake my head "I hated that I had to experience that..I wish I never did! You see..you all gave me hell and it did bother me after awhile but...then I got used to it....and sometimes I did..this" I roll my sleeve up and I show them all of my scars "You might think 'Oh! The slut is only doing that to get attention!' But really" I shake my head chuckling bitterly "I'm not or I would be walking around school showing them off or I would be telling everybody. Hey Sally? Remember this name?" I roll my other sleeve up and I show the camera the name I carved into myself "Fat? I stopped eating because of that! Yup!" I laugh bitterly at the camera "I even punched a tree..hard. Cause Izzy here" I motion for her to show herself to the camera, which she did "Found me..past out and she took me to the hospital..don't worry Sally....she made sure I was still miserable ole' me!" I giggle "When I got out I met this boy..who had blonde hair...absolutely beautiful hazel eyes....and he was like a dream guy....I faked a smile at him....he frowned" I feel a sudden urge to smile but I look away from the camera for a second "He saw through my smile....no one has done that before! And it made me feel scared but giddy at the same time!" I laugh as tears form in my eyes, I wipe them away "As you can see.. I dumped him for everybody....so you can make fun of me and hit me, bully me. Heck! Even try to rape me like my own drunken Father did!" I sigh and I laugh bitterly at the camera "I would LOVE to be my old miserable self! I'll embrace all the sadness and the anger I had when you guys thought it would be fun to pick on the girl who's got no mother! The girl who's father beats her and now tries to rape! The girl who had a beautiful best friend!" I look at Izzy and she's crying silently "Oh yeah something else to make fun of! And don't you DARE make fun of Izzy cause I.." She looks at me and shakes her head :stop: she mouths at me, I smile a broken smile and I shake my head "Cause I forced her into doing this....me and Izzy used to date! That's right! I was gay once! Izzy had no choice BUT to do this! So yeah! Pick on me if you want to hit Izzy for being gay. No don't hit her hit me! HELLO!? I'm the girl that gets bullied! Izzy is the innocent one!....." She sobs "Oh Izzy...I'm doing this for you and everyone that hates me!" I look back at the camera "So! I'll start cutting again! And I'll roll my sleeves up so you can all see! I'll wait for everyone to start hitting me, if you want to know where I'll be, come to the cafeteria at 2:00! I'll be there!" I laugh and I snatch the phone off Izzy and I point it at me "I'm the broken one.." I stop it from recording more and I go onto Facebook on Izzy's phone "C-Charlie-" I glare at her she tries to reach for my phone "Don't.You.Dare" I say through gritted teeth, she stands back and sobs "I-I can't bel-believe you d-did that!" I stay silent and I post my video on all the websites possible "Done" I whisper, I look at Izzy "Catch" I throw her, her phone and I pick up my bag "Bye" I mutter and I roll my sleeves up higher "Wait!" She grabs my shoulder and I stop, I stay silent "Uh..." I look at her with tears falling down my face, she pulls her hand back and she looks away "T-Than-Thank y-you..." I nod and I walk out of detention.