A Mere Child {Sebaciel} ON PAUSE

Chapter 5

Sebastian waved a hand in front of Ciel's face, "My lord..? Ciel..? Are you okay?"

Ciel shook his head, "Yes, sorry. I was just remembering something."

Sebastian looked down at Ciel's finger wrapped in a handkerchief and nodded. He tilted his head to the side, "You want to continue with the walk?"

Ciel was quiet. He was still stuck in the memory, "You never showed me the way."

Sebastian looked at Ciel, "What way..? The way to what, exactly? Are you sure you're okay?"

Ciel stared at the blood stained handkerchief, "The way to the swing. You told me it was ours, but you always carried me there. I never learned the way. You promised you would show me."

"Oh..." Sebastian trailed off. They stood there in silence and Ciel shifted uncomfortably. Just as suddenly as the silence appeared, so did Sebastian's soft voice, "I... I'll take you. I'll show you the way."

"You won't carry me?" Ciel teased.

Sebastian smiled, "All those sweets made you huge. I probably wouldn't be able to carry you even if I was grown up."

Ciel scowled but was glad Sebastian was going back to himself. Ciel walked on, "You are the one who gives me all the sweets."

Sebastian ran to catch up with him, "Even when I didn't give them to you, you would always find a way to sneak them."

Ciel huffed, "If a man wants something sweet to eat, why can't he have something sweet? You think with all the money I have I would be able to buy enough sweets to satisfy me."

"I hope you have enough money for all the cavities you are sure to get," Sebastian muttered.

Ciel laughed, "And then some!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. He tugged on Ciel's sleeve once he finally caught up to him, "Where are you going?"

Ciel stopped walking, "Oh..."

Sebastian sighed and grabbed Ciel's hand. He tugged him along in the opposite direction. Sebastian shook his small head, "Honestly, do you ever think before going on?"

Ciel blushed, "T-that's my line!"

Sebastian laughed, "I told you I would take you there. Let me take you."

Ciel stopped stumbling along and caught up with Sebastian. He walked by Sebastian's side still holding his hand. Ciel nodded, "Okay, Sebastian."

Sebastian smiled and led him through the trees. He watched his feet and made sure Ciel was stepping in the right spots. But even with Sebastian watching him, Ciel tripped. He stumbled forward, But Sebastian managed to catch him. He struggled with Ciel's weight, but he managed to keep him from falling.

Ciel blushed, and Sebastian kissed his cheek before pulling away and continuing. Ciel watched his step more carefully after that.

When they finally reached the clearing, Ciel stood at the edge. The tall grass was still tall but the sunlight made it shine green. The tree's dark, night-stained, leaves also flickered green. Ciel felt somewhat disappointed at the sight. Then, he saw the swing.

That still looked the same. The ropes were not tattered and the wood wasn't rotten or peeling. Ciel looked down at Sebastian who was looking down at his own feet. Ciel looked back up at the swing, "You took care of this place..."

Sebastian nodded but said nothing. He only looked up when Ciel left his side to walk to the swing. There was something inside Sebastian telling him to yell at Ciel to get away. That he did not belong there. That he didn't want him there. But Sebastian just stood quietly at the edge.

Ciel was at the swing. He picked up two white rings that sat on the swing. They were flower crowns made of wild flowers and a few small white roses.

Memories of Ciel teaching Sebastian how to make the flower crowns flowed into Ciel's mind. Memories of Sebastian sitting in the gardens with his tongue on his cheek as he struggled to make one. Memories of his proud face when he managed to make his first one. Memories of Ciel giving him one after Sebastian's fell apart.

Ciel set the crowns back on the swing and turned to leave. Sebastian didn't follow him. He remained at the edge of the clearing still silently staring at his feet.

Ciel struggled his way back to the manor. Once there, he shut himself in his study and didn't let anyone in, nor did he come out. Sebastian had tried to get him to come out. He tried to convince Ciel to let him in, but Ciel turned him away each time.

Everyone had gone to bed, except Ciel. The moon was high in the sky when finally, Ciel left his study.

He didn't go to bed: he didn't go to eat. Ciel made his way to the front door and left outside. He passed the gardens and went through the trees. But moments later, Ciel found himself lost.

He stumbled through the dark amongst the trees. He couldn't find the clearing or his way out. Just when he was considering yelling for Sebastian to go save him, Ciel heard a song.

It was quiet and far off, but he heard it on the breeze. Ciel moved carefully, making no noise, and followed the song. It was singing... Soft sweet singing... Sad singing.

Ciel followed it and eventually came to the clearing. The grass shone silver, and the leaves flicked beautifully, night-stained, and dark. On the swing sat Sebastian. He swung softly with the breeze.

Now, Ciel could hear the song and remembered it. It was the song Sebastian would always sing to him. It was Ciel's lullaby.

Ciel watched Sebastian swing and listened to him sing. He saw his hair flicker with the same beautiful night-stained darkness as the leaves, only his hair glistened darker and caught the moonlight better than any of the leaves.

Ciel wanted to go to him. Ciel wanted to push him on the swing and make him smile and laugh just as Sebastian had made him done so, long ago. But that was years ago, and Ciel knew he shouldn't be there. That the Sebastian he sneaked out with and made Ciel laugh and smile was only a memory.

Ciel could no longer be with Sebastian.