"Oh my God... your poor mother." I erupted into a fit of laughter as Rob told me stories of his childhood and what his mother was forced to endure with a house full of boys, "I cannot even imagine."
"I know. It's crazy." He laughed, his smirk never leaving his face, "She knew it was a losing battle with us half the time. So how about you? Do you want kids?"
"Yes, of course..." I looked at him not knowing if those words would scare him off. The thought of having kids or wanting kids scares a lot of people off, "If I ever find the right guy. That's the biggest thing."
"I'm going to have to meet every guy from your past." He looked over at me shaking his head. My eyes locked with his for a moment, "I've got to meet any guy dumb enough to let you get away."
I felt myself melt at those words. He actually had me completely speechless, I'm not sure the last time anyone has ever said something so sweet to me.
"Ma would love you." Rob kept talking, not letting the brief silence I allowed to fall between us become awkward, "She's always looking for honorary daughters if you're interested..." He joked as he placed his glass back on the table beside him.
"Lord I can imagine. I am not sure I could handle having a house full of 5 boys and a husband. Bless her heart..." I giggled, my laughter had hardly ceased our entire date as I heard story after story, "I would certainly need some ruffles and bows in my life. I'm sure your mother dotes over Mia."
He nodded, "Oh yeah. I think she's secretly hoping we all end up with nothing but girls. To her that would be an acceptable punishment for what we put her through."
"Aww." My laughter slowed as I reached for my glass of wine, "Mia is great. She's a very special little girl."
"Yeah. She is." Rob lit up at the thought of his little girl, "Wish I got to see her more."
"I'm sure its hard with your schedule..." I could only imagine how he was feeling, I'm not a parent. I can't relate to that quite yet, "you must get to spend a lot of time with her in the off season though."
"Nah. I mean I try..." He shook his head as he looked at the fire that was crackling in front of us, "but Sheila doesn't really allow me to have much time with her. You know that whole reputation thing... she doesn't think I'm the best influence."
"I'm sorry." My voice had grown soft, I was really feeling for him right now and it broke my heart.
"I agree I haven't made the best choices but I'm 26. I'm just having a good time. It doesn't mean I can't be a good dad though." Rob was really opening up to me and I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to say the wrong thing or strike any nerves.
"Well..." I began not knowing how much I should let myself say, I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand where Sheila was coming from but that didn't mean Rob didn't deserve to spend time with his daughter, "You just need to prove her wrong."
"Oh yeah?" He laughed dryly and looked at me with a crooked grin in his face, "How's that?"
I shrugged my shoulders almost afraid to say what was going to follow, afraid he may think I'm siding with her, "Maybe you need to show her that you're willing to put this crazy partying aside if it means more time with Mia. Let her learn she can trust you to have more responsibility."
Rob bobbed his head, never protesting my words but absorbing them. At least I think he was. It was hard for me to give parenting advice when I'm not a parent but part of me felt like Sheila needed the same things proved to her that I needed proved to me. We actually had something in common. What I really wanted to know was what happened between the two of them but I figured it wasn't my place to ask.
"So tell me about the fool that let you go. I gotta know. I need to learn from his past mistakes. " He spoke up and I looked at him in surprise that he actually wanted to hear about my failed relationship.
"Well..." I began not knowing exactly where to start, "We were together for about 3 years. Actually we were engaged for about a year of that time but he just always wanted to go out, always wanted to drink and party..."
Rob's eyes hadn't left me and I could feel myself growing nervous. I hadn't ever really opened up about what happened between Chance and I, mostly because I felt embarrassed or ashamed by his actions. I felt that somehow, what he did would make people think differently about me. I know it's stupid.
"I don't mind going out and having a good time but there's a limit..." I explained, "with the profession I'm in, we're kept under a microscope. Parents are always looking for a way to blame teachers for things, I never wanted to spoil my reputation by spending every weekend getting so faded that I can't think straight.... I thought that was something most people out grew by the time you graduated college..."
He laughed softly and in some ways I imagined that maybe I had offended him but it wasn't my intention. I guess if anything my story should explain my hesitation being with someone that lives that kind of lifestyle.
"Chance and I fought all the time over his drinking habits. They were out of control to say the least..." I cringed as I thought back on those times, "he'd black out and not know what happened. He'd get mean and aggressive. I was at my breaking point, I knew I couldn't marry a guy like that."
Rob just shook his head as he looked at the fire steadily blazing infront of us. I wasn't sure what was going through his mind at this point or if he was really even listening.
"He finally decided to get his act together but it was too late...I had a girl show up on our door step one day saying she was carrying his child and that was it for me..." I shrugged my shoulders, "that really threw me over the edge. He insisted she was lying and in the past I was naive enough to believe him but I wasn't going to be made a fool of. So I left."
"Damn..." He looked at me in disbelief or maybe it was pity, it was hard to tell at this point, "I'm sorry. He sounds like a real dick."
"Yeah, something like that." I smirked at him, "well enough about my pathetic love life."
Rob laughed at my remark and I joined him, I was glad we were able to lighten up an otherwise serious conversation. I really loved being able to make him smile.
"Maybe I can help with that love life..." Our laughter slowed as our eyes met and the world around me began to fade away.
Rob slowly inched forward until he captured my lips with his own and I certainly welcomed him. He surprises me a little more every day and I love getting to know him on a more vulnerable level. I just hoped he wouldn't change. That was my biggest fear.
