First at Last

Chapter Sixteen

When I arrived at the palace gates, I found William leaning against our tree. He looked up at me as I approached, but his expression was not exactly welcoming.

"Good evening, William," I said warily.

"Erika," he replied.

I stepped toward him, wrapping my arms around him. He dipped his head toward me and kissed me. So many things were said as our lips met, but neither of us spoke.

"I am to marry your sister." He murmured, his breath hot against my lips.

I closed my eyes, sighing. "I've heard. And you're going to do it?"

"Well, it is not like I have much of a choice." He sounded weary and I wondered how much sleep he'd lost over this.

My heart sank a little at his words, and I pulled away to look into his eyes. "Of course you have a choice! You are the one marrying her!" I said a little louder than necessary.

"It's not that simple!" He answered. "He is still my father, as well as king, and he has control over who I will wed."

I swallowed, feeling anger bubbling up inside of me, along with hurt. "You did not even try to persuade him?"

"What was I supposed to say?" His voice was softer now, and there was sorrow in his blue eyes.

"There are many things you could have said, William." My voice cracked a little on his name.

He opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off.

"So, that is it. You are going to marry Alice."

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. He nodded his head, exhaling. "Yes, I am going to marry Alice."

I looked away. "Alright, then."

He reached for my hand, his fingers brushing against mine. "But we can still see each other—"

I quickly pulled my hand away. "You will be marrying my sister." I said coldly, turning to look at William. "This is the end of us. Alice and I are not close, nor do we get along, but she is still my sister, and I would not do that to her."

"Erika," William began again.

"Goodbye, William." I brushed my hand against his in a final farewell.

"Goodbye." He said softly into the darkness. And then I turned and walked away.

I could feel my heart breaking with each step I took away from the man I loved. I had always resented girls in books, who would talk about having a broken heart in such a literal sense, but now I understood. It hurt to walk away from him.

I made it around the corner, out of sight, and out of hearing range of our tree, before I burst into tears. I leaned against a small brick building as tears ran down my cheeks, dripping onto the cobbled street.

It took several minutes to compose myself after my little breakdown. I noticed how cold it was as I made the long walk back to the Lovet estate. The chill wind sighed, as if responding to my own feelings of remorse.

I brushed away more tears that would freeze on my cheeks, making my face cold and stiff.

After what felt like hours, I reached the front door of the house. I pushed the door open, relieved to find that my mother had not noticed my absence. I walked up the stairs as quietly as I could, to my room and shut the door, locking it, as not to be disturbed.

I sat before the fireplace, staring into the golden flames as they danced around the logs, consuming them. I held my hands in front of the fire in an attempt to unfreeze them. The room was quiet, save for the crackling of the logs in the fire, and I did not like it. I wished there was noise, to drown out my thoughts, to distract me. Even reading held no appeal for me on this night.