This Is Me

Aftershock

I have reached the end of Logan's story, and I normally would have made everything awkward, but I physically cannot right now. And that is because of the pain that pushes away awkwardness, and gives me sadness. It makes me cry. Crying sucks because you can't stop it.

A sob racks my body, and I cry out in pain. It doesn't hurt me physically, but my heart feels like someone is stabbing it repeatedly. The wound was healing, but has now been reopened. Stupid Sports Authority.

I fall into Parker's chest, practically screaming.

More flashbacks. Pain. Fear. More pain. More fear. I feel a small sense of comfort as Parker wraps his arms around me protectively. Why does he stay with me? My brother died, and I killed him. I'm the girl who killed her own brother.

He should be disgusted by me. But he's not.

Anyway, the sense of comfort didn't last long, as more flashbacks took over my mind, and everyone's voices -especially that of the guy who killed Logan- scream my name.

They won't stop. I try covering my ears, I try screaming over them, but all it does is make my head hurt more. Over all of the voices and screaming, I can hear my pulse, throbbing.

Parker holds me closer to him, and I dig my nails into his back, trying anything to numb the pain. I feel Parker reach into his pocket and call someone: Ally. He says something about needing her to come home, and I hear my name a couple of times in their short conversation.

I pinch myself, bang my fist against my stomach, and even scratch at my own skin, trying to feel that pain over my emotional pain. Parker takes my hands away, and holds them in his so I can't hurt myself anymore.

"Please stop, Aaron, don't hurt yourself! It's not your fault! Please listen to me, baby. It's not your fault!" he shouts at me. I continue sobbing, unable to reply. I hear Ally swing the door open so hard, it makes the knob bang against the wall.

"Oh my God, Aaron. Aaron, Sweetie, please, listen to me!" I don't. I can't. I can't listen to her. The voices.

"NO! STOP, PLEASE! Don't do it! Logan!" I cry out, trying to stop the flashbacks, desperately telling Logan to stop fighting, not to do it. He doesn't listen. He dies. I killed him.

The image of his death replays over and over again in my head. Won't stop. I rock back and forth, hugging myself. The doctors told me I had a miraculous recovery. I got lucky. My emotional and physical wounds healed quickly. I thought I got over him.

But no. I just pushed my memories with him as far as I could in the back of my mind.

And now is my emotional breakdown. In front of my boyfriend and his sister. At least Luke isn't- never mind. I spoke to soon, I continue sobbing into Parker's chest as Luke wonders what is going on.

As Ally fills him, Thalia walks in, knowing exactly what happened. She's my best friend after all. She comes immediately, me hugs me, hard.

"Shh, shhhhh. It's okay, babe. Breathe, breathe. It's okay," she rubs my back, soothingly. Parker reluctantly let's go of me. I feel my senses coming back as the flashbacks start to fade away.

I curl up into a ball, and all of my friends huddle around me, creating a protective little room around me. I start to calm my breathing, and the tears stop flowing. All that's left of me is a shaking, weak body.

Although crying sucks, it helps too. It lets everything out that you've been holding in. Just have to breathe. Okay. Okay. I look up, to meet Thalia's eyes, and she smiles weakly. I return her smile with a wobbly one. My lower lip trembles, and she nods, enveloping me in a really warm hug.

"I miss him," I whimper.
"I know, it's okay, it gets better," she coos. Her soft voice calms me down.

I get soft smiles from the rest of my friends, if I can call Ally my friend. Eh. I crawl into Parker's arms that have become one of the most familiar things I have grown accustomed to.

"I can't imagine you leaving me," I whisper in his ear.
"Ooh!" Thalia exclaims, and runs out of my room. We hear shuffling, and she soon returns holding a bag of Doritos and the Finding Nemo DVD.

She smirks at me, and I grin back at her.
"You know me too well."

***
The book is ending, guys! I don't have much else to say! This is it! One more chapter, and that's all yall will get from Aaron, Parker, Luke, Thalia, and Ally!

So, yeah. I'm gonna miss yall, but, I'm going to make another book, I've been thinking about it lately. I'll post that soon. Bye!

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