Undying Love: Sons Of Anarchy

Grief

Do Not Read

This Chapter is currently under revision

This Chapter does not follow the current story line.

Everything will change.

"I'm.."I started holding my hands together as I sat there. I could feel the burning sensation of tears building up.

"I'm losing my mind Charlie."I said clearing my throat.

"They said the twins are doing better...They had to put Teddy in with Pais because she was having Separation Anxiety from Teddy or something.."I said and rubbed my face with my hands.

"They said that in a week, if Paisleigh gains another pound I could take them home." I said and closed my eyes. "But I can't..I can't take them home without you Charlie..I haven't even went to go see them yet. They need their mom..I need their mom." Resting my head in my hands I sniffled trying my hardest not to let myself cry again.

"Abel keeps asking where you are and I keep telling him that you're sleeping. But he's so damn smart. You made him so damn smart he keeps asking how long will you be asleep."I said laughing as a tear rolled down. I wiped it before it reached my beard.

"He asks if he'll get a new Mommy and I tell him no. Because no one will ever be better than his Mommy... And I don't want him to have a new Mommy." Taking a deep breath I took a second to breathe.

"I need you. We all need you. This doesn't work without you. You promised me Charlie..You promised." Getting I got myself to walk away and walk towards my bike. Taking deep breaths I needed to be strong now. My weak moment came and gone. Hearing my phone ring I opened it as I sat on my bike.

"Yeah."I said.

"Hey sweetheart."Gemma said.

"Hey Mom."

"How you holding up?"She asked and I shrugged as if she could see me.

"It's been two weeks mom...I'm not doing well."I said dryly.

"I know...You go see her?"She asked.

"I have everyday since."I told her.

"Have you seen the babies yet?"She asked me.

"You know I can't do that without her."

"Seeing them helps. They feel alone too."Gemma said.

"Teddy is beautiful he has Charlie's eyes and Paisleigh she's sm-"

"Mom stop. I can't see them or get to know them without Charlie."I said cutting her off.

"Jackson. Man up and go see your children. Charlie wouldn't want this."

"You don't know what she would want." I said into the phone.

"I know more than you do. You spent so much time making her think you hated her, you never did talk to her about it. She would want you up there holding them. You don't even know how much they weigh or what they look like Jackson. At least I've held them."

"I just can't."I said and hung up the phone. Charlie was better with this stuff, with handling feeling like this..She was my rock...Who was I suppose to tell about how I was feeling. No one understood. No one. I did blame myself. I was a dick to Charlie. She didn't deserve that. I should have been there with her comforting her not pushing her away. Or maybe I should have pushed her away before this even happened. Now things are messy. Abel keeps asking where his Mommy is and Thomas won't stop crying. At was at a lose here. My hands were tied.

"Jackie."Chibs said with a nod as I cut my bike off in front of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey brother." I said getting off and walked over to him he welcomed me with a hug and I hugged him back.