Trouble with Friends, Family, and One Direction

Friends Again?

SO MY SPELL CHECK IS BROKEN AND I CAN'T SPELL FOR MY LIFE SO BARE WITH IT. I AM LISTENING TO ALL THESE DEPRESSING SONGS SO THIS SHALL BE A DEPRESSING CHAPTER. YA I KNOW. DEPRESSION HURTS CYBOLTA CAN HELP YOU.

I sat in math class. I was proud of myself for sort of understanding this stuff. I don't let it on but I can be smart sometimes. It is sad that no one believes that I am smart. I scribbled down the answer to the last question on the worksheet.

I leaned back in my chair and started twirling my pencil. Alexandra came up to me. I glared at Alexandra. She is one of Britney's followers. I don't want to talk to the glossies (What I call the popular kids) right now.

"I'm sorry Katja." Alexandra whispered to me. I looked at her. I can't believe she is apologizing. She probably just wants to get on my good side so she can meet One Direction.

"For what Alexandra?" I asked looking at her. My expression was blank. It is really hard talking to Alexandra without trying to murder her. Great now I really want to murder her now.

"For what Brit did to you, you don't deserve it. And...for what I did...after you know." Alexandra said breaking at the finale part of her apology. I knew what she meant. After Amber. I looked at Alexandra. I wanted to be mad at her. But I saw tears welling in Alexandra's eyes. Shit! I can't be pissed with her. Not after six years of being best friends.

"Then why did you leave Alex? You almost broke Livvie. Again." I said not mentioning how it had hurt me.

I don't spend my time being selfish and worrying about my own feelings. I put everyone's feelings first then I lock mine away in a dairy. I looked at Alexandra. The tears threatened to spill down her face. I could see the corners of her eyes were wet.

Alex ran out of the room into the bathroom. I followed getting a few yells from my math teacher. I followed Alex to the bathroom. I walked in after her and locked the bathroom door. She would want to be alone. Alexandra ran to the mirror putting her hands on the sink.

"I can't, I can't. I couldn't keep going on like nothing happened. When I saw you two I was haunted by her." Alex said letting the tears fall down her face openly. I walked behind her and gave her a hug. I'm so not good with people stuff. I don't like human contact it is weird.

Alex turned around and hugged into me. I froze. I didn't know what to do. Should I pat her back? No that would be kind of creepy. I just let Alexandra sob into my shirt. I didn't let a single tear fall down my face. I wanted to cry but I had to be strong for Alexandra.

Alexandra finally pulled away from me whipping her eyes with her long sleeve shirt. Her eyes were puffy and red. "I'm sorry I forgot how bad you are with people. You must think I'm pretty weak. I haven't seen you cry... well ever." Alex said looking down at me.

Time for a cheesy quote. "Hey people who cry aren't weak they have just been strong for too long." I said patting Alex's back awkwardly. Am I supposed to do that. It would be easier if I had been loved as a child.

"I'm gonna go. We have only three minutes left of the school day. Thank god we don't have science today. I never understand what Dr.K is talking about." Alex said with a smile. She left through the bathroom door.

All this crying brought back memories of Mom, Dad, Amber, and Harry. I was just so fucking pissed. I wanted to scream but that would attract too much attention to me. I looked at myself in the mirror. My smile was gone. Not that it was ever real anymore. I had to fake a smile to get by. I hated the broken girl in the mirror. I drew my hand back and punched the mirror.

The mirror broke into about a million peices. Glass got wedged into my skin and my fist was in white agony. I am so stupid. I probably broke my hand and got thirteen years of bad luck. I pulled the glass out of my hand and dropped into the trash can (or trash bin or whatever the hell you call it in your country). Blood seeped from my hand.