It's 11:11 and you told me you're done wishing but I'm still wide awake and my phone is silent and somehow this makes me feel lonely. It's late, I know, but I miss people.
I miss wishes, I miss smiles and laughs and conversations that ultimately make no sense.
It's like the entire world has shut off for the night; even those cicadas that I despise so, they've stopped singing their ruckus. I wished for them to start singing again just to break this silence; it's killing me, slowly eating and eating and eating on my very soul. I'm breathing in dead air, I'm tasting salty tears. I'm done fighting.
I tell them all that I'm okay, I don't want them to worry. I laugh and smile when they're around just so they don't see through it all and deep down I hope they see this as a cry for help because my life is slowly falling apart and I'm just too chicken to ask for help.
I have panic attacks in class, my heart starts hurting at the same time every single day, I grow weak by 5th period and it becomes so hard to talk, walk, or anything else.
There's this growing pain in the back of my head and it's always there, it never goes away.
He's said words.
She's said words.
Rumors on the bathroom walls.
51 laps and then I lose the all of nothing I had eaten that day and that never happens.
I can't sleep.
My uncle, he's in my dreams.
I'm so scared in school of those boys. I'm afraid of history repeating itself.
I'm scared, I'm hurting, I'm done.
I'm crying--I'm screaming out to you.
Help.
Help me.
YOU ARE READING
emotions
Poetryemotions: natural instinctive states of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. I express these instinctive states through my strung together words of poetry.
