Ghost of You

The Ghost of You - Chapter 5

WARNING: It's a smutty smut chapter!

Bender and I sat upstairs in my room, the only light came from the Christmas lights around my window from the outside. Lights Bender had put up at the request of my father who would've done it himself had he had the ability to do so. I had my head on his chest as the sounds of Psychedelic Furs played through my speakers at a low volume. I had my focus on the light snow fall as Bender played with my hair. I was almost asleep when I felt Bender take a deep breath and exhale. I turned to look at him.

He had been staring at the ceiling until I had turned to face him and his gaze shifted to me. "What," he asked.

"Nothing, you exhaled, I thought maybe you wanted to say something," and he shifted his body to lie on his side, I did the same so that now we were facing each other.

"I was just thinking..."

"Yeah," I said as I snuggled my head into my pillow.

"This is nice. Like, it's new and kinda scary, but you know," he trailed off.

"Nice," I helped and he kinda chuckled. "Yeah," he nodded as he shifted to lie on his back but I sensed there was more he wanted to say so I waited for a beat but, when he didn't say anything, I sighed.

"What," he asked.

"I feel like there's something you're not telling me," and I touched his chest. He moved his hand from his right side and placed it over mine and moved it to his heart. He shifted his gaze from the ceiling back to me and his eyes said everything. While I was familiar with the look, I hadn't seen it on his face before. It was the look I had been giving him lately, that look of love. You could see it in his eyes as he laid there looking at me. He began to breathe heavily through flared nostrils and I could feel his heart beat faster. This was scary for both of us. What if this didn't work out or if this was just a passing fling? I mean, were we living on a past idea?

And then I thought to myself, it's unfair to chastise someone for doing something when I had been doing the same thing. He wasn't like the other guys I had dated and it wasn't fair to pass judgments. I was so scared that he'd never love me the way I loved him that, as I laid there looking at him shake in terror at the things he was feeling, that I never thought of how I'd feel once I was absolutely sure that he felt the exact same way I did. I too was absolutely terrified and unsure where to go from this point.

As my breathing became slow, I moved closer to him and kissed him, slowly at first but as his tongue traced my bottom lip, I knew where this was going and, for the first time in a long time, I was ready. I opened my mouth and accepted his tongue as I felt his other hand move to the small of my back and pull me closer to him, his other hand not leaving from mine on his chest. As our kiss deepened, I moved my other hand to his hair and twirled it around. He stopped for a second and looked at me. Though no words were spoken, his face seemed to ask if what was about to happen was ok. When I nodded he sat up and brought me with him. I pulled my shirt off revealing only my bra, he followed suit, unbuttoning his flannel first and then removing the thermal shirt under it. I had only felt his chest through his shirt, but now that I was seeing it bare for the first time, I certainly wasn't disappointed. Next, he stood up to remove his pants but, before he could undo them himself, I reached forward and undid the belt, the button, and finally pulled his pants down. He stood there in a pair of black boxers and white socks which made me giggle. He took notice and quickly removed them before smiling and tackling me on the bed. I smiled up at him and he smiled back at me. "You sure about this, Cupcake?"

I bit my lip and nodded as he leaned forward to kiss me again. As he did, I could feel his hand caress up my leg, into my inner thigh, and as his fingers teased the outside of my underwear, I moaned into his mouth. This seemed to please him immensely as I could feel his member poking my other thigh.