Secrets

Prologue

I was seven the first time it happened. I remember it hurting like nothing I had ever felt before, and that was saying something. I was constantly getting hurt and breaking bones, but this, this hurt was everywhere, it took over my body as I felt myself change. No one was there to help me; no one was there to tell me what was going on. I was alone. Hour after excruciating hour passed, and eventually the shift was over.

I looked down at my new self, white was the first thought that passed through my head. The pain had subdued, and I felt stronger somehow. I walked toward the lake that was in the middle of the woods I was in. I looked at my reflection, and jumped at the sight of myself. I wasn’t human anymore, I wasn’t a wolf, and so what was I?

I didn’t know how I had gotten to be this oversized wolf, I mean, I was only seven, when you’re seven, you’re supposed to still be playing with dolls, right? Wrong, for me at least. It was summer the first time I changed; funnily enough, it was Friday the 13th too.

After an entire day of being this new wolf, I eventually got tired of running around, and running into trees, and biting myself, trying to wake myself up from the nightmare I was in. I eventually got tired and fell asleep, only to wake up stark naked in the middle of the woods.

I tried to reason with myself for years about what had happened, but I couldn’t come up with any excuse for what had happened, I couldn’t think of anything to make it go away.

The second time it happened I was 10. A kid at my school was making fun of my best friend Amber. I remember getting so pissed off, that the kid who was messing with Amber actually ran away. He was the schools ultimate bully. After that day, he never bullied ever again. After telling him off, and yes, I cussed him out, and yes, I know that I probably shouldn’t know cuss words at ten, but my stepfather was an ass, who drank, and cussed…a lot. After telling him off, I could feel twitches all over my body, and the burning sensation happened again. I ran into the woods and couldn’t change back for three days. My mom surprised me, she held me when I got back, and told me she knew it wasn’t my fault.

The third time I changed, I was 13. It was my first day in middle school, and I was scared, scared of the new people, the new school, and the secret I held. I was in homeroom, when the kid started talking about how weird I was. He was from my old school. In between classes, I ran to the bathroom and started crying my eyes out.

I had been researching oversized wolfs, they are called werewolves, they get a mate, only one person in the whole world, they can only change when the full moon was out, and you can only become one if you are bitten, or if it runs in your blood. Well, let me tell you that two of them are wrong. A werewolf can fall in love with multiple people, it chooses its mate, just like the rest of humankind, except, when we are fully in love, we know it, and a werewolf can change whenever it feels like it.  

Not that I knew that then. So when I was crying in the bathroom, I felt myself shifting, and knew I had to get out of the school, so that’s what I did, I grabbed my bag, and ran and ran and ran until I got safely into the woods. I shifted, and walked around for a bit, but I remember getting so angry that I couldn’t change back, that I changed myself back. For the rest of the day, I was shifting to and from a wolf. Yes, it hurt like hell; no, I wasn’t going to stop. I had to know if I could do it whenever I could.

The last time I remember shifting was when my mom died. We were driving to the mall to have some girl time… I was 17. She was driving, and we were at a stop light, and she looked at me, and told me she loved me, but it was her time to go, and that I needed to shift, to get out of there, she told me that, she had been waiting for a call for a long time, and that she finally had gotten it, so unlocking the car doors, she shoved me out. At first I just stood there, but when the light turned green, and she didn’t do anything, I became confused, and backed up, until I was at the edge of the woods, the woods cover most of the little town I lived in. The light turned red, and my mom zoomed into the intersection, killing herself. No one else was injured because a huge 18-wheeler hit her.

That was it. That was all it took for me, I shifted in 1.2 seconds, and ran, and I ran as far as I could. When I reached the east side of the U.S., I stopped, and ran back. Where else was I going to go?

I got back to my house, as always my stepdad was in his drunken slumber, so it was easy to sneak past him and change. I cried in my room for hours, until he came in, and as me what was wrong with me. What an ass. So, I told him what happened, editing out the part about me shifting into a huge werewolf of course. He said he knew what happened to my mom, and that it was my fault, and that in my week of absence, she had already been buried. That made me cringe; I had missed my mother’s funeral.

I immediately got up and went to talk to Amber, she would know what do to. But when I got to her house, her parents told me that she had killed herself. I asked her parents what had happened; they told me that Amber wrote in her suicide note that it was her time to go. I don’t know what she meant by that, but the only think left to do was to go home, so I did.

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