Imperfectly Perfect

Chapter 5 - Unrequited is painful

When I enter office the wall clock tells me that it's 9.45 Am. Internally I pat myself for being a little extra punctual. After settling my bag and using the washroom, I turn on the computer and sit on the chair. Neither Deepak nor Venkatesh is here yet and I decide to start off fast.

Things aren't going the way I want with Steven. After Friday night, not just he didn't reply to me anymore, but stopped checking my messages as well. Not to forget my friend request that he hasn't accepted yet. I don't know what happened and why is he behaving like this, but I'm very upset about it. I was looking forward to being asked out by him after he inquired my weekend plans on Friday, however nothing at all happened. I shouldn't really bother or become so emotionally broken at such a small thing, but this is in my nature – I get way too attached way too fast.

I don't even know him, at this point all I feel for him is physical attraction – his brown eyes, pale and smooth skin, slicked back, dimpled smile, and dread locks, are all I could think of. However, I want to know him, I want to know how his day was, about his work, his favorite music, movies, books, animals, theories, fears, everything, and I want to keep talking to him. I understand that he's quiet and composed, and doesn't talk much, and that's why I'm ready to take control and help him to be friendly.

Deepak and Venkatesh arrive sharp at 10.00 Am and wish me good morning in unison. I discuss the story ideas with Venkatesh and he likes them a lot.

"Great ideas, be fast. We've to get loads of visitors today," he claps his hands and smiles.

I get charged up and nod obediently before turning my attention to the computer screen and starting to write the first story. I shift my eyes to the door every once in awhile when the sound of it opening comes, and I feel struggling to keep focus. I hate it, I really do.

As the clock strikes 11.10 Am, I hear the sound of the door opening and I know it's Steven. I glare at it from the corner of my eyes and there he comes, wearing a white shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows and dark brown pants. I quickly turn my head to the computer screen lest he understands that I'm staring at him. However, when he passes me I couldn't help, but look at him. He smiles and waves at me, saying, "Good morning," as I return the favor.

This short exchange of glances makes me lose focus on my work even more. Nonetheless, I tell myself to buck up and continue to write.

End hours roll in and I find myself at the end of penning the fifth story of the day. At this point, Steven comes to pour himself a cup of tea – standing diagonally left to me. I look at him and immediately get the thought of asking him why he isn't online on messenger. However, Kiran calls him after he takes the cup and they sit together, discussing something. I growl, but decide to leave office only after asking him about messenger. I bring out the stubborn side of me.

Finally around 6, I find him loitering about my workstation, hands sticking in his pockets like always. I'm about to grab my chair after coming out from the washroom when our eyes lock and he smiles widely at me.

I smile back and ask, "What happened to your phone?"

"My phone?" he furrows his brows and checks his shirt and pants' pockets.

"Yeah, I mean you're not online on messenger," I say.

"I am," he replies. "But I don't check always."

For some reason, the answer breaks my heart. I know it's wrong to feel bad for any of his activities because nothing at all started, but I could see the beautiful imaginations that I knitted with him – us going on a date, us kissing, us hanging out, me introducing him to my friends, breaking into pieces. And more than anything that is what I'm not prepared to accept. I thought I found my dream boy, but if he's so less interested that he stops chatting in the middle of conversation and then doesn't check his messages too then we can't ever be together.