Lauren had been awake for the past hour. So many thoughts clouded her mind, making it impossible for her to shut off.
There was only one constant question that wouldn't stop repeating itself. Why did Camila hate her?
Lauren must have done something wrong. Maybe Camila was creeped out by the way she was staring at her? Oh god. Now that Lauren thought about it, it must've looked pretty creepy.
Camila probably thought she was some kind of psychopath.
That's all she needed to do. She just needed to apologize to Camila.
Lauren decided she would do it as soon as she woke up.
Lauren awoke once again, this time it wasn't quite as pleasant. She shot up out of bed, clutching at her head and begging her mind to stop replaying the images flowing around in her brain.
Images of the accident. A woman, her mom maybe?
This wasn't supposed to be happening. She wasn't supposed to remember.
Lauren never thought she would be grateful for losing her memory, not in a million years; but if it meant forgetting about the things she had just seen, she figured it was worth it.
She slumped down against the wall farthest from her bed, bringing her knees up to her chest and burying her head in them. She was full on crying now, and she brought her free hand up to her mouth, begging herself to stop crying.
The last thing she wanted to do was wake Camila up.
There she was again, thinking about Camila. She wanted nothing more than for the younger girl to wrap her arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay.
But that couldn't happen unless Camila knew Lauren was sorry.
So Lauren pulled herself up from the floor, straightening out her shorts and ruffling her hair a little before opening the door as quietly as she could.
The hall was pitch black, so Lauren assumed Camila was already asleep as there was no light coming from her room.
She suddenly chickened out. If Camila didn't think she was a creep already, she sure as hell would if she woke up to her standing over her while she sleeps.
But she needed to be close to someone right now. She needed to be close to Camila.
She didn't know why, but she felt this pull to the younger girl, one that made it impossible to stay away from her, no matter how much Camila might hate her.
Lauren took a deep breath before finally pushing Camila's door open. She poked her head through the crack, the room was dark and she could just barely make out Camila's figure in her bed.
She padded over to Camila's side of the bed, pausing to admire the girls features. The light was illuminating her cheekbones perfectly, and her messy hair hung slightly in front of her face, making her look even more adorable.
Without thinking, Lauren reached down, brushing her hair out of her face. She let her fingertips linger for a second before allowing them to trace Camila's jawline, just ever so slightly.
She finally snapped herself out of her trance, suddenly getting the courage to do what she had been wanting to for so long.
So she crept over to the other side of the bed, and slid under the covers, being careful not to make too much noise. The distance between her and Camila was so small now that Lauren had to force herself to resist the temptation of just snuggling up to two other girl.
So instead she just lay there, admiring Camila's side profile before allowing sleep to take over her.
//
It had been roughly ten minutes since Lauren had climbed into Camila's bed.
Camila still lay there frozen, trying to make sense of her own thoughts.
She was awake when Lauren came into her room. Thinking it was her mom, Camila opted to keep her eyes shut rather than receive a lecture.
But then Lauren touched her. Her touch was so light and her fingertips caressed her skin so softly, sending shivers through her whole body.
So Camila let her.
She didn't know why. She was supposed to hate this girl. So why the fuck was she now laying in bed with her?
Maybe she had just dreamt it. That was possible right? She convinced herself that she would wake up in the morning and this would all have been a dream.
Nothing could hurt her in a dream. So Camila rolled over to face Lauren, unable to control the smile that formed on her face.
Lauren was curled up under the covers, her knees pulled up slightly to her chest. Camila noticed that her eyes were puffy, meaning she ha been crying.
She suddenly felt guilty. What if Lauren was crying because of her?
But it didn't matter anyway. Camila couldn't let Lauren know she cared.
She couldn't let anyone know she cared. Because caring leads to getting hurt, and she had suffered way too much of that already to bear any more.
But Lauren was asleep now. If Camila snuck out before she woke up she would never know it happened.
And Camila wanted so badly to just hold her in her arms.
So she did.
Gently tugging on Lauren's arms, Camila pulled the girl into her body, wrapping her arms around her neck so that the older girls head was buried in her chest.
Lauren stirred slightly, wrapping her arms around Camila's waist and pulling her closer.
Camila froze. This felt way too natural.
Lauren nuzzled her head further into Camila's chest, and she shivered when she felt her warm breath hit her.
Camila could definitely get used to this.
But she couldn't. As much as she wanted to trust Lauren, to let her in, she just couldn't. Not after what happened last time.
She promised herself she would never trust anyone again, and she had to stick to her promise.
Maybe in some other lifetime Lauren would be the one to change her, but for now she just had to cherish this moment with the older girl; because it was the last one she'd ever get.
A/N
DAMN.
short update, this was meant to post with the last update and I thought it did but I only just realized it didn't so I'm soooorrryyy guys it was meant to be a double update:(
Hope this isn't too bad, I'm hella tired right now.
I'm going to take a nap and then write the next update bc I feel like I owe you guys.
Thanks for reading. As always be safe and enjoy your day/night. I love you guys.
-M
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