Every single word used was full of regret, you could feel the hesitation to say the things I did. Tears. So much tears, I don't think I ever cried that hard. Not when my pap died, not when I had glass in my neck, not when I was held out a window threatened of my death, but I cried so hard when I knew i wasn't going to be in his arms. Because I know that that's the only way i'll feel alive, he's the reason I feel like living. He's the reason I feel so alive.
Waking up and wishing you never woke up is one of the worst feelings you could ever have in your life- questioning your existence. And after having all those thoughts, finally meeting someone that makes you feel more alive than you would ever think, he makes me feel like I need to wake up. Sometimes i'll even wake up super early in the morning to talk to him simply because I just can't get enough and I just need his words to inject my soul. Its like medication to the ill. Every word of his sews a spot in my memory, every touch sews it's way into my skin; he's managed to make his way into me.
The taste of regret fills your mouth when you say something so cruel to the person you never thought you'd have to say such words to. You want to take your arms and wrap them so tight around their frame and never let go- you want to apologize for every letter that came out of your mouth. You felt as though you've lost all control and sorry isn't enough. You just wish you could show him how important he really is to you. But is there anything that will actually prove it?
